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Double standard - 9/25/2008 4:10:19 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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Last night I caught a glimpse of the show, "Till death do us part," and the husband very kindly greeted the wife in the morning, and she was rude and sarcastic right back, and it was supposed to be funny.
On the show "King of Queens," Carrie is often "mean" to Doug, and even does that "nipple twist," and it's supposed to be funny.
Deborah on Everybody loves Raymond can be very disrespectful to Raymond, and it's supposed to be funny (although with her in laws, I might crack too).
Yet, the guys are always supposed to be nice, and if they're mean it's abuse.
I don't think guys should be mean, but women should be kind, too.
It takes TWO people to build a relationship...
Thoughts?.......
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 9/25/2008 5:00:35 PM >
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RE: Double standard - 9/25/2008 4:51:52 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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There is definitely a trend in the last decade or two that approves of putting down and mistreating men as humor, and I find it disgusting.
I have never seen any of the shows mentioned in your post...and think it's probably a good thing we don't have TV. What we do choose to watch via DVD in general provides strong and relatively good male role models for my boys (who don't have a father in the home).
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RE: Double standard - 9/25/2008 5:59:56 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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I don't see the men being portrayed as nice as much as bumbling idiots that are so difficult for the poor put upon (mean and sarcastic) wives to put up with. It is not a sterotype we want running rampant in our house. We do Netflix so we watch dvds that we choose. Regular television makes me sick to my stomach for so many reasons. I was so glad when I about two years ago my husband suggested we get rid of it. That would be my smart, intelligent, wonderful husband who strangely enough is just not a bumbling idiot like the television would show.
Karen
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RE: Double standard - 9/25/2008 9:10:10 PM
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buckifn
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I've never watched any of those shows you mentioned..I seldom watch anything on tv and the values most shows model is the reason why.
It's hard for me to sit through most scenes like you described without feeling sick. I truly do not know how a person with Godly values can watch such garbage and expect it not to affect them.
Making a mockery of your marriage partner is not funny imo.
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RE: Double standard - 9/25/2008 11:48:14 PM
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karlie
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I agree that they aren't funny. I'm with the others who said they don't see the men portrayed as "nice" as much as clueless idiots who are inept at taking care of kids and being considerate husbands whom the women just tolerate. But it goes both ways on shows like that...the husband's aren't always the innocent ones...often, they are looking for ways to pull something sneaky over on their wives and get out of some commitment they don't want to keep. I don't find either portrayal flattering or funny. Maybe because I've been blessed with an amazingly considerate, capable and intelligent husband who doesn't resemble them at all, and I would never consider talking to him the way their wives do...not on my worst day.
We don't "get", or enjoy shows like that around here...they go completely against our ideas and experience in marriage.
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 6:54:38 AM
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DaveW
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Most leading men on TV sitcoms have been idiots since the 70s. On other shows they are either action figures or abusers.
It is really rare to see a decent good strong man in a family or leadership position.
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 6:54:55 AM
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car2ner
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Remember that humor is funny only if you can relate to it on some level. I find it refreshing, then, that so many women don't find these situations humorous.
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 6:59:55 AM
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car2ner
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I prefer the comedy of The Cosby Show and Home Improvement... sticky situations that are funny but the couples clearly love each other.
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"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 7:30:44 AM
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SurpassingPeace
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quote:
Remember that humor is funny only if you can relate to it on some level. I find it refreshing, then, that so many women don't find these situations humorous.
That is an excellent point. It starts my day off well to think about that, thank you.
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 9:42:07 AM
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isaacsmom
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quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
I prefer the comedy of The Cosby Show and Home Improvement... sticky situations that are funny but the couples clearly love each other.
I thought Jill was always gripey on Home Improvement. But it is a little better than some shows. The Cosby Show is our all-time favorite. We own some seasons of it. I love how Cliff and Claire love each other, like each other, treat each other with respect and the children respect the parents, and the parents discipline the children in love.
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 9:51:31 AM
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SurpassingPeace
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The Cosby show was the one that came to my mind as a good program as well. It was a picture of a loving, respectful family. The parents parented together and they parented. The children were not allowed to get away with a horrendous, sarcastic attitude or misbehave without consequence. And for all that, it was funny. You do not need to try out of the dysfunctional family of the year to be funny.
Karen
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 11:46:45 AM
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freakofnature
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This isn't probably going to be the post that many of you will agree with but I see it a bit different, In the 40's and 50's movies had "The Three Stooges" STOOGES because they were bumbling idiots, in the 60's it was Dick Van Dyk, I always liked watching the beginning of that show because he always tripped on the steps on the way to kiss his wife, he also always found himself in sticky and funny situations, it was funny and a comedy bit. In the 70's, "All in the Family" Although I don't personally care for that show because there are alot of sexual overtones, if I recall correctly, however the man of the house wasn't exactly the brightest bulb... I mean the list could go on and on and on... I think you have to see it for what it is worth, these are sitcoms "looking in" on a family and seeing how that family lives, no, not all American households are that way but then again, we aren't the Three Stooges or Dick Van Dyk either.
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RE: Double standard - 9/26/2008 7:38:36 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
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It's not just sitcoms...watch commercials today as well. Just turn on your TV for a half hour or so and record how many times the man is made out to be the one who knows less than either his wife, his child, or another woman.
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RE: Double standard - 9/27/2008 1:16:18 PM
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stonek
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From what I see about men on TV/other media they are liars, cheaters, lazy,selfish, they only think with one thing and that's not their brains, because chances are they don't have one, they will have sex with just about anyone, they are idiots, completely clueless and they would be totally lost without the leadership of their wife helping them along with their pitiful behinds. Is the media telling the truth or not???
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RE: Double standard - 9/27/2008 5:45:41 PM
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HisCovenant
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
I agree that they aren't funny. I'm with the others who said they don't see the men portrayed as "nice" as much as clueless idiots who are inept at taking care of kids and being considerate husbands whom the women just tolerate. But it goes both ways on shows like that...the husband's aren't always the innocent ones...often, they are looking for ways to pull something sneaky over on their wives and get out of some commitment they don't want to keep. I don't find either portrayal flattering or funny. Maybe because I've been blessed with an amazingly considerate, capable and intelligent husband who doesn't resemble them at all, and I would never consider talking to him the way their wives do...not on my worst day.
We don't "get", or enjoy shows like that around here...they go completely against our ideas and experience in marriage.
I totally agree and made a point of choosing a husband that was the opposite of those stereotypes and is offended by the media's portrayal of men in sitcoms, movies, commercials, and movies...
However, I have a father who often pretends to be the "idiot" to not have to take responsibility, so I do see where that stereotype finds its roots. Those men are out there. I certainly don't find it funny because I have seen what that kind of selfishness does to relationships in the family. It may look "harmless" or "clueless" but I can assure you it's not. It's done quite purposefully.
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RE: Double standard - 9/27/2008 11:57:31 PM
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jaimestarcross
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That's why I don't watch those shows ... I'm even dodging
those types of commercials!
I am glad we have satellite tv --- I listen to music - christian, blues & classical - it's so great to do things around the house while listening to some
good music!
Now, I'm reading more Christian novels than ever --- use to be I'd never
touch those books or christian music.
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RE: Double standard - 9/30/2008 2:00:56 PM
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leesw
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
Last night I caught a glimpse of the show, "Till death do us part," and the husband very kindly greeted the wife in the morning, and she was rude and sarcastic right back, and it was supposed to be funny.
On the show "King of Queens," Carrie is often "mean" to Doug, and even does that "nipple twist," and it's supposed to be funny.
Deborah on Everybody loves Raymond can be very disrespectful to Raymond, and it's supposed to be funny (although with her in laws, I might crack too).
Yet, the guys are always supposed to be nice, and if they're mean it's abuse.
I don't think guys should be mean, but women should be kind, too.
It takes TWO people to build a relationship...
Thoughts?.......
I'm so glad you pointed this out. As a man, I've noticed this but it is politically incorrect for me to ever point out if they are treated unfairly. The liberal media, even the men, love to bash men. When I brought it up here though many agreed with me, some said that I was just complaining and somehow was a sexist.
I work for a Christian ministry and we have devo every morning. I remember requesting prayers for a fellow employee who was/is one of my buddies. He was having a vasectomy that day. Several women literally snickered. I didn't appreciate it. A few weeks later a woman was having a similar birth-control procedure that involved lazers and was an outpatient type of thing. The recovery time was less than the vasectomy. When the request was made for prayers for her there was no snickering, just a somber concern. Having had a vasectomy I can tell you that it is very painful and took me a year to fully recover. The point is that men are treated as though when they hurt it's funny. That's just wrong.
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RE: Double standard - 10/3/2008 12:51:49 AM
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LovebirdsFlying
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quote:
ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting
It's not just sitcoms...watch commercials today as well. Just turn on your TV for a half hour or so and record how many times the man is made out to be the one who knows less than either his wife, his child, or another woman.
You're right about that. I despise the home improvement commercial where a husband and wife walk into the store, and the husband says to the employee, "My wife thinks we need a new roof, but I...." She immediately gives him a nasty look, whereupon he backpedals and makes as if he was going to agree all along. Then throughout the entire commercial, he keeps wanting to say they're finished with all the projects, but his wife gives him that *look* and he caves in like a card house. By the end of the commercial, the daughter (dressed identically to her mother) is doing the same thing. They pull his strings, he dances.
Wimp.
PS: Leesw, I agree with you. The snickering was wrong. I hope someone said something to those rude ladies.
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RE: Double standard - 10/6/2008 12:58:50 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
Several women literally snickered.
Not only was that rude, they were acting like they were 12.
quote:
Having had a vasectomy I can tell you that it is very painful and took me a year to fully recover. The point is that men are treated as though when they hurt it's funny. That's just wrong.
That is wrong, it is not funny when men hurt. And I admire you for going through that..I think it is kind when men take that pain, as their wife had to take the childbirth pain, but that doesn't mean I think taking that pain is easy.
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"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Double standard - 10/10/2008 1:24:09 AM
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iluvatar
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To be fair to the comedians/actors, these sitcoms are often based upon the routines of the standup comics who star in them. Usually, the couple is a typical straight man/funny man pairing (a la Abbot & Costello) with the husband being the funny man and the wife being the straight man. Yes, there seems to be a double standard, but it's because of the demographics of the comedy biz. When female comics star in shows, they're often the goofy/dumb ones.
-Dan.
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RE: Double standard - 10/10/2008 4:11:58 AM
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humansarecylons
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The way I see it, we're all adults so we know that what we see in sitcoms isn't a true representation of life in general.
What's really wrong, though, is how impressionable children see shows like those that were mentioned previously and they start thinking that that's how it is in real life.
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RE: Double standard - 10/10/2008 7:27:59 AM
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car2ner
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IF there is no conflict, there is no story. IF there is no hint of tragedy there is no humor. Humor is being able to rise above and share surviving the irritations in life.
What I agree with the OP is this: sometimes there seems to be too much of one type of irritation and that may be because if a show or a concept is popular, there will be a lot of copy catting going on. If no one watched the show, it would put an end to it quickly. So that sad thing is that so many people watch these shows and find some connection to them. Are there too many real life spouses who behave somewhat like these t.v. spouses? We laugh mostly when we can say to ourselves, "been there, done that, have the t-shirt to prove it".
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"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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