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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 10:47:33 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1328
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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Tell me why Christian men and women focus too much on the physical instead on focucing on the heart and the charater? I guess people think that I'm a little bit judgemental on this area but if people think they base their attraction just because of a movie star, they will be disapointed.
There are men and women who have those movie star, model like qualities, but inside they have ugly qualities and they are hurting inside.
The people you think they are "plain jane" have beautiful spirits and are content. Which one would you pick--would you pick someone who have those movie-star qualites or someone who has charater. I would pick the second choice because and people do not realize this, but in the world our beauty will fade away because of the fact that we have something called these earthy tablenacles.
And don't choose anyone who are not in the faith. It is dangerous for your christian witness. And don't look for him, let him look for you.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 10:51:21 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1853
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
I'm a junior doctor
An intern?
quote:
It is true that cute guys can be jerky, but that's because women let them get away with it so that they keep him.
Cute guys can be jerks because everyone is born a sinner and capable of being a jerk. Every person decides to either surrender themselves to God and are in the process of sanctification and improving, or they become their own gods (small "g") and using every advantage to gain power and pleasure.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 10:56:02 AM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 617
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
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quote:
The people you think they are "plain jane" have beautiful spirits and are content. Which one would you pick--would you pick someone who have those movie-star qualites or someone who has charater. I would pick the second choice because and people do not realize this, but in the world our beauty will fade away because of the fact that we have something called these earthy tablenacles.
AMEN AMEN AMEN! Preach it sister!
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 12:51:00 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1797
Joined: 5/23/2006
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I can't imagine God calling anyone He made "ugly" The sins they commit are ugly, but they themselves are part of what He delights in.
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 3:01:14 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3127
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
I'm a junior doctor
An intern?
Yes, I was curious too. Apparently it's a UK thing:
"Junior doctors in the United Kingdom are those in postgraduate training, starting at graduation with a medical degree and culminating in a post as a Consultant, a General Practitioner, or some other non-training post, such as a Staff grade or Associate Specialist post. The term junior doctor might be considered misleading. It includes skilled doctors with years of National Health Service experience of treating patients." -From Wikipedia
Either that, or she's very, very young and just playing DOCTOR. 
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 3:58:44 PM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 617
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
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Thanks for the Laugh Kat!!
God bless you!
_____________________________
It does not have to be well with my circumstance to be well with my soul!
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 6:13:06 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
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LOL...you guys are silly! Yes, I'm a junior doc and qualified...an intern!:)
I don't know why, but more people keep stating that attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts. That's such a generalization! I have met -less attractive people who are sooooo horrible. I've dated guys who aren't 'hot' by societies standards and they have been so nasty! It truly does depend on the person!
As I keep repeating though...I don't just go by looks alone. I may be very attracted to the outer appearance of a guy, but if he comes across like there's nothing there/ jerky, I get over him. I'm not one to give people a chance with me if they're ugly spirited. I'm sensitive to that.
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 6:14:32 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
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I do agree about giving,focussing on Christ more and being content with where I am. I can do that:)
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 7:10:55 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 11442
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
LOL...you guys are silly! Yes, I'm a junior doc and qualified...an intern!:)
I don't know why, but more people keep stating that attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts. That's such a generalization! I have met -less attractive people who are sooooo horrible. I've dated guys who aren't 'hot' by societies standards and they have been so nasty! It truly does depend on the person!
As I keep repeating though...I don't just go by looks alone. I may be very attracted to the outer appearance of a guy, but if he comes across like there's nothing there/ jerky, I get over him. I'm not one to give people a chance with me if they're ugly spirited. I'm sensitive to that.
Part of the reason might be because people sometimes read the OP and don't bother reading further on for more explanation. So they might see the part about there not being many good looking men around and conclude that that is your focus, whereas later on in the thread you clarified and said that you certainly do look at character and other traits. So don't be too offended if people come on the thread and go with that line of talk - it could be that they have jumped to a conclusion without reading further.
Honestly, I do think you have a good head on your shoulders about this. All singles have the times where they get frustrated and wonder where all the "good ones" are. Keep giving it over to God and pursuing what He would have you pursue, and I think you'll do just fine.
_____________________________
Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: FED UP - 9/27/2008 8:21:47 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
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Thank Tricia...appreciate it!
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RE: FED UP - 9/28/2008 12:41:27 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1853
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
I don't know why, but more people keep stating that attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts.
I think people are kindly hinting that looks are unimportant.
quote:
As I keep repeating though...I don't just go by looks alone.
I'm wondering why you go on looks at all? When you rotated through geriatrics, you saw what we all become if we live long enough: Old. Broken. Ugly. Dying.
In regards to your contention that: "more people keep stating that attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" (your words - an inclusive statement) here's a synopsis of what everyone has said regarding looks,
quote:
ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito
ABSOLUTELY you should be physically attracted to your mate. It would be a sad, sad marriage if you weren't! But crossing people off your date list based on their looks alone without getting to know them first is not a good idea.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
quote:
deermousie:
You'll notice, that after 20 years of dating Christians and 20 years of being married to a godly man, that I made no mention of physical attributes.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
rural_gal told you her story; no mention of looks.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
It didn't matter to me if she weighed 100 or 200 pounds. I would hate to shut someone out of my life for that reason alone.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
quote:
ORIGINAL:
I found that when I was dating that the cuter they were the longer it took for me to realize they were a jerk.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" - OK, you can take it here. First one.
Kat_D laughed in agreement with being in love with a not-pretty man.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
Wild-Rose encouraged you to pray for the man you want.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
LivingParadox encouraged you to wait on God's timing.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
quote:
GregandJenny
As much as we go on looks we have to remember that all of us (as ugly as some of us are) were crafted by the Master and made in HIS image.
"attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
quote:
margieb711
I'm trying to say that we shouldn't focus too much on finding another person if that's not God's intention for us. - no mention of llooks; "attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts" isn't there.
quote:
gaylel1
There are men and women who have those movie star, model like qualities, but inside they have ugly qualities and they are hurting inside.
This doesn't say all beautiful people are ugly inside, just that some exist. It's not inclusive.
It's pretty clear that the one post which supported you shouted louder to you than the other nine - that suggests that it pushed a button in you, and that you've been badly burned in the past. Wish we could help with that, but that's a job for the Holy Spirit in your life... and for you, as well, as you depend on God's grace and shout down the accusing voices that come from the jerks of the past.
Or, you could be just waaaay low on sleep - interns don't get any for some years, from what I understand. Sympathy to you!
So lighten up on the people here, and hear their good advice. We care. I am praying for you tonight. God bless you, dear one. (((Hugs)))
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: FED UP - 9/28/2008 6:56:41 AM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
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You hit it right on the nail, deermousie...I am post call!LOL
Re the looks and ugliness of heart, the person who stated the above, is not the only person. I have been frightened after some folks in my life told me that it's unlikely that you'll meet someone who is attractive and of great character. That to me is worries me. So, yes, it does strike a cord and when people seem to hint that I should be putting looks further down the list, it's upsetting.
Maybe it's because I was rejected a great deal as a child when I put on weight. I never noticed it until I was told about 30 times over a series of months that I was fat-people were so insensitive and made a deal out of it-surprisingly. 2ndly, when I refused to go out with a guy who I was not into at the time/didn't think was all that attractive to me (he was slimey with a small head -childish memories can be awful, lol), the boys in my neighborhood, called me 'la villaine' (french for 'the ugly one') for 4 years of my early teens. As a result, I reclused and felt pretty insecure about my looks. I read 'God thinks you are positively awesome' and that made me feel neutral about myself, but still insecure.
I learned that when I was fitter, people would swarm me more than when I was even a few pounds overweight. This lead to a constant battle of self-rejection and neglect way into my college years. Funnily, there too, when I was thinner, I was sought after, but when I'd put on some weight, (like 10 pounds on my 5'4 petite framed body) I was outcasted. I don't know whether it's the way I carry myself during those times of weight gain/weight loss, but it's pretty evident each time. People whom I don't know would make me KNOW whether I looked good or not...and weren't ashamed to say it outloud. I really don't understand what right they had, but they did it anyway.
Anyway, you do have a point re the above comments - I honestly saw them as hints to not even consider being with someone I find attractive physically. It bothered me a lot because at present, the guys who want to know me better are younger in age than I am, far from the paul rudd types, still in college, or cute, but only looking for sex. There is one guy who is a very good friend to me who would have potential, but he's 20, great character, in love with Christ, never hurt me, but I'm 8 years his senior in education/working and I'm not all that attracted to him. He's a sweet sweet friend and I know he's very interested in me, but why is it guys like him and then 45 year old men and older who are showing more potential? I have malefriends who are shorter than me and have shown interest, but I feel as if I'd be holding the hand of a little brother or something...just couldn't do it!
I guess the bottom line is that I'll like to meet a guy who is balanced, a cherishing friend, a man who is self-respecting and whole. Only time can tell how a person acts so who knows, I may have met this guy, but he's still getting fine tuned...maybe I'm needing the fine tuning as well:)
Thank you for your prayers guys..thank you.
Re my geriatric patients (working with them for 3/6 months now), I don't see them as ugly...I see them more by their character...some are angry (and curse quite often, aren't happy), many are confused, many depressed, and interestingly, very few are content and with good family support. I think that's the saddest part of this field. When families don't want any more to do with their parents, that adds to the disappointment. My team is currently taking on stroke patients as well and it hurts when you see family members who are distraught after their 50-60 year old loved one is unable to speak, unable to communicate and physically dysfunctional (upper or lower limbs weakened or not in use after the corresponding side of the infarct/haemorrhage.) It's pretty tough. That's when character comes out to me the most...I don't think of them superficially, but look past that and do what I can to show them love.
Sometimes I hate being on call, but you know...I also know that God wants to use me during those times...I had to take some blood from a man last night who has just been diagnosed with advanced prostrate cancer. He had another form of cancer in the past, received radiotherapy and was cured. This is the latest news. He was seeing a priest when I came in...that gave me the opportunity to tell him to ask Jesus (specifically) to cure him - I was going to go back afterwards and pray with him, but the priest was in with him. At least Christ had some glory in that setting:) AMEN!
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RE: FED UP - 9/28/2008 9:00:03 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1853
Joined: 9/26/2007
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Just a quickie, or I'll be late for church:
God bless you, BeautifulFemale. You're carrying hurts and my heart aches for you. I'll get back later this afternoon and we'll talk some more.
And congratulations - I would have guessed English was your mother tongue! That is a huge accomplishment! You rock! (((Hugs)))
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: FED UP - 9/28/2008 10:45:31 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1328
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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quote:
I don't know why, but more people keep stating that attractive (outwardly) people have ugly hearts. That's such a generalization! I have met -less attractive people who are sooooo horrible. I've dated guys who aren't 'hot' by societies standards and they have been so nasty! It truly does depend on the person!
You have not watched the news lately like TMZ or other news outlets of these so-called beautiful people who are caught on camera and acting a fool. Just because these people use their beauty as an advantage to get the "perfect man or woman" it does not mean that their souls is not right at all. For example, Naomi Campbell, the famous model is always all over the news because of her tirades, one of her antics landed her in jail recently because she was known for her nastiness.
I believe we and also in the christian world that people can get by because of looks and judge by the person and how wonderful they are, but we don't get to know the person's soul or how are they walking with the Lord.
I'm sorry if my post striked a cord in you, but it concerns me when Christian men and women who are trying to find a life partner finds someone because the first thing on the list is looks which instead the first thing should be a person's charater, which really counts in a relationship.
Beautiful Female, let me tell you something about being rejected and I'm not saying this to get you angry or hurt you and that is not my intention, but Jesus was also rejected too--he was rejected by men and people who did not like the way he looked and how he acted. But you know, rejection helps us grow as a people, and especially in the Lord. You see, I've have also been rejected by men too because of my frame, but guess what? that rejection made me stronger because I did not need these men anyways because they would have not been on my radar nor God saw it best not to be with these people anyways.
There is a old saying that "rejection is God's protection." And that saying rings true.
It is not about "self", and people will tell you "You have low self esteem, because it is not about that. And yes, take "self" out of the way there, but you are a beautiful person who God values you and loves you.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: FED UP - 9/28/2008 10:59:06 AM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
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Interesting point, gayle...I have to admit, the guys who would flippantly accept me would be pretty much jerky guys. I see how they act and how they would size me up/let their looking linger alittle longer than I personally think is acceptable when taken. I have a good friend of mine from Norway and she saw how they were and have been. She called them all sorts of names (clean, but mean) because she knew that they were douches. She would always say imagine being the girl of that guy...she's either a fool or plain desperate. She would conclude this because of what the guys have said and acted towards me prior to my knowledge of their relationship status. I have been PROTECTED this is true.However, if it's a repetitive cycle, it does get me down. I have wondered what kind of gal they think I am - to flirt with me/come unto me/act in all ways which show interest, but then act like the proper boyfriend while with their girl. I'm sick of it. A guy in church has been that way with me too...so, that's why it's really been a down heartening spiral. I've come to the point of not hoping anymore because the guy is sooo likely to be taken. Sigh. (And it doesn't matter about the looks...this is purely regular occurences... in cabs, shops, busstops, grocers, church, etc, etc, etc...). Does anyone else experience this regularly?
< Message edited by BeautifulFemale -- 9/28/2008 11:17:05 AM >
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RE: FED UP - 9/29/2008 9:01:53 AM
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Kellgaste
Posts: 402
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Status: offline
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Hello my Lady BF,
You asked if anyone else experiences this regularly, well, seeing i don't catch the eye of other men, no I don't <wry smile>.
In all seriousness though (Above was trying to bring a smile to you.), I am very sorry you are being exposed to these types of men, its these type of men that give the rest of us a bad name <sigh>. Trust me, we are not all like that!
Please be patient, Trust in the Lord, and wait on him and pray for his timing. (This is difficult for me as well, but, it is very important)
Well, I have calls coming in so must get back to the Grind <smile>.
God Bless my Lady and Trust and lean on the Lord! <Long Distance hug> 
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RE: FED UP - 9/29/2008 9:16:29 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1797
Joined: 5/23/2006
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You are giving your power over to someone else. Letting others change who you know you are in God is just that...Why does it matter what a person labels you? "fat" "smart" stupid" "skinny" "too light" "too dark"" too anything is NOT what God says about us.
Is there a way you can focus your mind on God more...get His Word in your heart so when those attacks come you know exactly how to resist accepting them?
How much time do you spend in the Word and have you ever made a deliberate effort to memorize verses that lifts your spirit?
Finding a guy is not going to make you happy. Delighting yourself IN THE LORD will.
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RE: FED UP - 9/30/2008 2:03:43 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1853
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
You hit it right on the nail, deermousie...I am post call!LOL
I'm sorry you're so tired. We have several friends who are docs, and this is a common problem with the profession.
quote:
Re the looks and ugliness of heart, the person who stated the above, is not the only person. I have been frightened after some folks in my life told me that it's unlikely that you'll meet someone who is attractive and of great character. That to me is worries me. So, yes, it does strike a cord and when people seem to hint that I should be putting looks further down the list, it's upsetting.
I hate it when people lie to us when we are vunerable and can't fight back very well. That person had a point that good looks can be used like currancy (purchasing power/money) if it will bring in other peoples' interest and advantages. Since we are all sinners, a weak person who is good looking is more likely to take advantage of their looks to get what they want from others (and what is the bottom of every fleshly desire but power and pleasure). But a person who is good looking and has either been trained by their parents or the Lord that the important things are God and other people is likely to see their looks as a side issue that causes people to sometimes acts like jerks around them but otherwise has no real importance. Nice to have, and temporary.
quote:
Maybe it's because I was rejected a great deal as a child when I put on weight. I never noticed it until I was told about 30 times over a series of months that I was fat-people were so insensitive and made a deal out of it-surprisingly.
That was hard to live with, and it's hurt you. For people like you and me with bad hurts from our childhood (and often longer) we need to get God's take from God's Word on what is important about any subject. Then when someone pushes our "button" and makes these feelings come boiling up to the surface, we can shout them down with God's truth:
Person: You are worthless!
Me: God said He died for me because He loves me (Rom. 5:8) so I have great worth!
Person: No one loves you!
Me: God says He loves me and honors me (Isaiah 43:4)
Person: You are ugly!
Me: God says that what He wants is for us to justice, love mercy and walk humbly with Him. (Micah 6:8). If looks aren't important to God, they shouldn't be important to you. And Christ wasn't good looking at at least one point of His life (Isa. 53:2) and He is God!
quote:
2ndly, when I refused to go out with a guy who I was not into at the time/didn't think was all that attractive to me (he was slimey with a small head -childish memories can be awful, lol), the boys in my neighborhood, called me 'la villaine' (french for 'the ugly one') for 4 years of my early teens.
It's too bad your father wasn't there. Early teens should be working on school, not trying to take advantage of pretty girls and getting mad when the girls are doing something worthwhile instead. Kids are so cruel and selfish, and young girls tender, innocent and needing protection from predators. You didn't deserve that pain.
quote:
As a result, I reclused and felt pretty insecure about my looks. I read 'God thinks you are positively awesome' and that made me feel neutral about myself, but still insecure.
OK, here's an important point: we listen to people who shout at us, and often don't listen to wisdom if it is whispered to us. Who is more important to give us good information? Frustrated, selfish boys or the God who created you and loved you enough to die to get you back? Who has sacrificed themself more for you?
Our feelings go with the shouters, and we have to learn to shout back: God loves me, I have worth, people are sinners and usually pretty selfish and lying. Quote Scripture to yourself. Let it dig deep into your brain and heart (it will take time - it's fighting 25 years of experience. So give it the time. Do it for years!).
quote:
I learned that when I was fitter, people would swarm me more than when I was even a few pounds overweight.
For their own pleasure. These are the weak people to build out of your life. My daugther is lovely and has guys paying a lot of attention to her. When one asks her out, she says matter-of-factly: "Sorry. I don't have time for men in my life." And she walks away. She hangs out with her girlfriends and their brothers and friends, and there is no pairing up going on. She keeps guys at arm's distance but otherwise is friendly and nice.
quote:
This lead to a constant battle of self-rejection and neglect way into my college years. Funnily, there too, when I was thinner, I was sought after, but when I'd put on some weight, (like 10 pounds on my 5'4 petite framed body) I was outcasted.
The people who saw you as an outcast were the very ones you want out of your life. They culled themselves! This is a good thing - be glad. In your shoes (if I were you) I'd keep an extra ten pounds on just for this reason - you'll know who your friends are. Those selfish people did reject you, and you want them gone. The self-rejection you feel is from believing that they were telling the truth. They weren't. They were trying to use you, and telling you lies so they could get power over you for their own selfish reasons. Keep shouting down the lies with the truth in your head (I love the story - it might even be true - that the great reformer Martin Luther woke up one night and found the devil standing next to his bed. He said, "Oh, it's just you," rolled over and went back to sleep. He told the truth! So can you. Eventually you might even believe it. But it's true whether you feel it or not, so hang on to it like your life depends on it).
quote:
I don't know whether it's the way I carry myself during those times of weight gain/weight loss, but it's pretty evident each time. People whom I don't know would make me KNOW whether I looked good or not...and weren't ashamed to say it outloud. I really don't understand what right they had, but they did it anyway.
They are jerks. Inappropriate conversation, with no thought to how it made you feel. Selfish and hurtful people. We have them in America, too.  Sinners abound in every culture.
quote:
Anyway, you do have a point re the above comments - I honestly saw them as hints to not even consider being with someone I find attractive physically.
Really, your life is to follow God and do what He calls you to do, and when He has the right man for you, he'll show up in front of you. He'll be there at the right time. If you want to skip the guys God doesn't have for you, you haven't missed a thing. So don't be with anyone who isn't God's will for your husband, and you've just missed a lot of trouble. You'll know the right man - he'll be godly, have a good reputation with his church, and ready to marry. And probably a little shy because you are pretty and he can't believe God would give him a beautiful wife!
quote:
It bothered me a lot because at present, the guys who want to know me better are younger in age than I am, far from the paul rudd types, still in college, or cute, but only looking for sex.
Well, that makes your life easier: kick them out of your life.
quote:
There is one guy who is a very good friend to me who would have potential, but he's 20, great character, in love with Christ, never hurt me, but I'm 8 years his senior in education/working and I'm not all that attracted to him. He's a sweet sweet friend and I know he's very interested in me, but why is it guys like him and then 45 year old men and older who are showing more potential?
Because probably none of them are God's will for your husband. God won't bring him around probably until you're both ready. You are being protected meanwhile.
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I have malefriends who are shorter than me and have shown interest, but I feel as if I'd be holding the hand of a little brother or something...just couldn't do it!
Allow me to suggest it's inappropriate to hold the hand of a guy you aren't going to marry. Wait until your future husband shows up and you know it's him. Then hold his hand.
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I guess the bottom line is that I'll like to meet a guy who is balanced, a cherishing friend, a man who is self-respecting and whole. Only time can tell how a person acts so who knows, I may have met this guy, but he's still getting fine tuned...maybe I'm needing the fine tuning as well:)
We are thinking alike.
When a guy shows up, look him over hard. Is he a strong Christian? Do mature Christians who have known him for years think he has a good reputation? Does he know enough about the Bible that he does what he finds there, like confessing his sin, not sinning habitually, loving the brethren, sharing his faith? And are these things true of you? Are you working on them?
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Thank you for your prayers guys..thank you.
You're welcome, dear one. (((Hugs))) May God heal the hurts in your heart, and may you be successful in shouting down the lies with the truth!
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Re my geriatric patients (working with them for 3/6 months now), I don't see them as ugly...I see them more by their character...some are angry (and curse quite often, aren't happy), many are confused, many depressed, and interestingly, very few are content and with good family support. I think that's the saddest part of this field. When families don't want any more to do with their parents, that adds to the disappointment.
This relates to you: you are seeing people's ability to commit themselves morally when there's nothing in it for them, no advantage but only hard work. These may show the same selfishness of people who only want you around because they get something out of it. Wait for someone better to court you.
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My team is currently taking on stroke patients as well and it hurts when you see family members who are distraught after their 50-60 year old loved one is unable to speak, unable to communicate and physically dysfunctional (upper or lower limbs weakened or not in use after the corresponding side of the infarct/haemorrhage.) It's pretty tough. That's when character comes out to me the most...I don't think of them superficially, but look past that and do what I can to show them love.
God bless you. That's what makes a great doctor - knowledge, skill, and a caring heart.
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that gave me the opportunity to tell him to ask Jesus (specifically) to cure him - I was going to go back afterwards and pray with him, but the priest was in with him. At least Christ had some glory in that setting:) AMEN!
That is so important! God bless you, dear sister in the Lord. I respect you.
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Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: FED UP - 9/30/2008 2:44:11 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline
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Thank you Deermousie for the time you've put into responding to everything I've said...you're so sweet!
A few things stuck out in my mind...first of all...how in the world did you bring up a daughter who is so strong and able to tell the guys she's not into boys right now! That's so hot! Teach me something I don't know so that I can share it with my own daughters/sons!
2ndly, I think it's very clear now...I've given myself over to people's thoughts and opinions of me...obviously I've bargained for rollercoaster rides and now (I believe another crosswalker mentioned what you've said too) I've to bring my focus back on Christ and make His opinion prime in my life. To think about it, I've never ever put Christ's opinion first and solidly into my heart. Sad, but true, but at least I've more than 74 years left in me (and hopefully more:) to make that happen! I believe there is a verse in the Bible stating woe to the man who puts man's opinions above God's..don't remember where and when I read it, but I have a feeling it's in Isaiah??
Anyway, where should I start? If I'm going to be a serious Christian, I've to let go of somethings for a greater purpose. I love listening to Christian radio/tv...reading devotionals have been a bit boring for me. Also, what topic should I be focussing on...if I'm to be more in tune with Christ and less of a two faced Christian...I've to do something different...I know that.
3rdly, you're like my mom...she thinks that I've been spared from the hand of the enemy working in men who don't love Christ. All the rejection or at least my sensitivity to their odd reactions...the torment etc...has all protected me. Mom does pray that I meet someone who will cherish me, but also to keep those with evil motives away from me. She's a fervent/caring mother...I couldn't have been more blessed. And ...I'm not even from her womb...:)
I have truly been blessed! AMEN!
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RE: FED UP - 9/30/2008 7:12:20 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline
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Received this in my mail today...I thinkn it's really meaningful and I think it's the answer to much prayer...
'Appreciating Sense of Worth
I will realize my own worth when I accept … how I take care of myself is important.
You may be in the progress of trying to figure out why you don’t do the things you say you want to do for yourself. Why don’t I have a better diet? Why don’t I get more rest? Why don’t I spend more time doing the things that make me feel good? Why don’t I exercise more? Why don’t I work less? Why do I keep doing the things I say I am not going to do? Why do I wait until the last minute to do certain things? Why do I create so much stress and pressure for myself? Why do I say yes when I want to say no? Why do I act like the things that really matter to me don’t matter at all? Why do I stay in situations where I am dishonored or devalued? Why don’t I take time or make time for myself? Why don’t I express what I feel when I feel it? Why don’t I speak up for myself when I feel the need to do so? Why do I doubt myself? Why do I sabotage my dreams? Why do I abuse myself? Why do I feel taken advantage of? Why am I not earning what I believe I am worth? Why do I put others before myself? Why am I constantly faced with these questions?
If you are asking yourself one or more of these questions, there is something you are probably not aware of that you may want to consider. Perhaps you don’t believe that taking care of yourself is important. In other words, maybe you don’t believe that you are worth the effort (ouch that hurts).
You may not have understood how a belief of unworthiness can be manifested as a behavior. Starting today, adopt one behavior that will demonstrate your belief that you are important and worthy of the best of care.
Be devoted to behaviors that will enhance your sense of worthiness! '
I am going to focus on seeking my worth in Christ. I didn't know my worth as a child and based it on the opinions of those little boys and mean little girls. Christ wants me to know my worth in Him...amen!
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RE: FED UP - 9/30/2008 10:04:05 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1853
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale
Thank you Deermousie for the time you've put into responding to everything I've said...you're so sweet!
Aw, thanks, Beautiful. (((Hugs))) It's my pleasure; I'm not so beautiful, but I've had a difficult life and I love sharing what I've been taught. It's so freeing.
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A few things stuck out in my mind...first of all...how in the world did you bring up a daughter who is so strong and able to tell the guys she's not into boys right now! That's so hot! Teach me something I don't know so that I can share it with my own daughters/sons!
It's easy: tell the truth. If you know where you're going and what God wants you to do right now, when someone asks you to do something different, tell the truth: sorry, you can't. You have something you have to do and there's not enough time to do both, or what they ask is contrary to God's will. Done. It makes decisions much easier.
We sat our daughter down and explained to her that she could get married now and run a home and probably have kids and it would be a full-time job and a good thing. OR she can go to college (it's a Christian college that teaches thinking, learning and the sovereignty of God in all of life) for four years, while ignoring the guys, and train her mind so that at graduation her life would be many more times as effective, no matter whether it's in marriage and raising godly children or being an activist or whatever. She thought it over and decided the college was the thing to do, and we will pay her way so she can devote herself to training | | |
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