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RE: opposite sex friends?

 
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RE: opposite sex friends? - 10/2/2008 11:18:38 PM   
DrivenbyGod


Posts: 223
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I think it is very dependent on whether the guy is goal oriented or not. For someone (like myself) whose goal is to be married, spending time with a woman who is not a good potential is a waste.

It's not that we are looking for dating opportunities, its that we are looking for dating opportunities with a woman who could be our wife

I date ONLY for the purpose of finding a wife. I don't believe in casual dating just for the sake of dating.
(It has too much potential for hurting both parties when the goals are different)

Let me explain it this way. Dating a woman who is not a good potential is like a wrong turn on a road trip. If you are driving from Milwaukee to Yellowstone park and you somehow end up in St Louis you will have wasted your time. St Louis may be very enjoyable, but you are no closer to your goal and the time spent there is lost to you.

Very few have been the lessons that I learned in unsuccessful relationships that I could not just as easily learn in a good relationship. (I mean, what does breaking nicely up have to do with marriage anyway?)

And like you we are going through our lives and finding opportunites as they present themselves.


Now as to "friendships" with women. (1)If a guy is looking for a wife, every time he is seen in public with a female friend he decreases his chances of finding a wife. Every suitable woman who sees him will assume he is taken and will cross him off her list of potentials. (2) should he marry someone else the friendship would have to end. Attention given to his female "friend" amounts to emotional adultery against his wife. If he wants a woman's input, he has a wife.


Thanks for elaborating on this John_O. This is exactly how I feel and what I meant in my abbreviated post...
Post #: 26
RE: opposite sex friends? - 10/3/2008 9:49:36 PM   
makarizo


Posts: 2974
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
one of my all time best friends was a woman. Neither one of us wanted anything more or less than each others friendship.
when she got married, she asked me to be her maid of honor (I hope she was joking) and that is when we discovered that her soon to be hubby was a little jealous of our friendship.
I only wanted God's best for her and understood that the friendship we had would diminish.
I still think of her as a great friend, but Christmas card exchanges are about the extent of things.

_____________________________

Post #: 27
RE: opposite sex friends? - 10/5/2008 3:32:31 PM   
rgsoundguy


Posts: 401
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Pottstown, PA
Status: offline
I believe that a man can, however, a man must put his wife's wishes and desires before his own. If his wife is not comfortable with his relationship with another woman, he must do everything to make her feel secure in it even if it means giving up that friendship. Just my 2 cents.

_____________________________

Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That convinces me that our nation is insane because we continually elect republicans and democrats expecting change and get none.
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