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RE: What do you do with a kid that just dosn't care? - 9/28/2008 4:43:46 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 1591
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JuliaHop
I really think that other parents and students like to talk about how "hard" their child's teacher was. We have had the hard teachers...and usually everything that we feared had been great exaggerations on the part of others.
I hope this is the case. There are a few teachers in the upper grades who, I have heard, try to take the parents out of the loop to encourage the students to be more responsibility. This just worries me with dd!! My ds, two grades behind her, is a million times better with knowing what needs to be done and being responsible for getting it done - I'll have no worries at all if he gets a teacher who prefers to communicate with him and not me. That's just going to be so hard for her. But I also know that when I hear of these really tough teachers, you can't really know how a kid's going to respond to that until they get there. Could be good for her. Might send me over the edge, though. I'll just concentrate on getting through the 4th grade for now.
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RE: What do you do with a kid that just dosn't care? - 9/28/2008 9:54:53 PM
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amyminchin
Posts: 22
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Did you ever think that perhaps the kinder teacher could be right and your daughter could be very gifted, and so is just BORED in fourth grade and hence doesn't want to do the work?
Not because she doesn't want to, but because it is simply too easy for her?
I had a friend like this and she was tested and got bumped up to the year level above and she did so much work then.
I would advise testing, but if not than I personally think you are putting so much stress on the poor girl, I never did index cards and stuff in year 4!
If you need to get her motivation up why don't you say no TV until you are done with your work, or something else she likes? Don't let it stress you out! And don't stress your daughter out too much- always tell her you love her, she is special to her because if you keep on stressing her academia side she will assume that is all she is good for, and maybe that is why she is doing the whole "no work" thing. She wants you to actually tell her that she is special and you love her no matter what. If you dont tell her that then she will grow up believing that you don't love her, even though you obviously do!
Always tell your children you love them. Always.
Sorry if the post sounds harsh. It's not meant to be.
_____________________________
"A compliment is like a kiss through a veil" -Victor Hugo
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RE: What do you do with a kid that just dosn't care? - 10/1/2008 12:20:16 AM
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myka
Posts: 797
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quote:
If/when the teachers stop communicating with ME and expect dd to know what's going on, I'm in HUGE trouble.
Umm. I'm wondering why it is you that is going to be in huge trouble and not your dd. Her school work is her responsibility, not yours.
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RE: What do you do with a kid that just dosn't care? - 10/3/2008 11:03:22 AM
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emjayzee
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The question was "What do you do with a kid that doesn't care?" and the answer is "Make them care." She must care about SOMEthing- tv, games, friends, dancing, soccer, music- what is it? What is it that she does put time and effort and energy into? When you answer this, you have your motivational tool. She either doesn't get 'x' when she doesn't do her work, do well on tests, etc. OR she gets 'x' when she does well for the whole week.
You mentioned that you were having a special dinner and movie because she did well. Did she know if she did well she would get this reward, or did you decide to do it after you saw she did well? It is important to put her in charge of her consequences. What happens if she does well? What happens if she does not do well? Find her motivator and use it!
_____________________________
unicorns borrowed from Matthew Webber, copyright 2002
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RE: What do you do with a kid that just dosn't care? - 10/3/2008 11:17:29 AM
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csl7037
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She decided yesterday, on a whim, to try out for the school's soccer team. She's never played soccer in her life and I've always heard that you can try out in 4th grade but 4th graders really very rarely make the teams. When we got there yesterday, all the coaches were saying they need girls and my dd was like one of maybe six girls that showed up. And then he tells me that the JV team is a "developmental team". It actually looks like she's going to make the soccer team. Yikes! There is one more day of tryouts and they'll find out sometime next week. She has talked since last year about wanting to try out for cheerleading too - and this is something we've both been really excited about. I cannot fathom how this child will do one big activity like that much less two. But I think it might be worth a try to give her the opportunity to rise to the challenge. We talked long last night about the commitment soccer (and/or cheerleading) would be and what would have to happen for her to be able to do that. Maybe this is what she needs. We'll see.
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RE: What do you do with a kid that just dosn't care? - 10/3/2008 11:40:36 AM
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coolfamily6
Posts: 226
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quote:
We talked long last night about the commitment soccer (and/or cheerleading) would be and what would have to happen for her to be able to do that. Maybe this is what she needs.
CSL, we do not allow extra activities if their school work is not being done. For us the extras became a source of "I couldn't get it done because I had to practice X." The only extra activity the kids have right now is piano and they work on homework while waiting for their turn with the teacher/piano at home.
ETA: My friend has a student at your school. She said 5th grade was hard but got better in 6th. Her child now 8th grade is doing great in the advanced classes. She (DF) only has one child, so it was hard for her to step back and let the child take responsibility for the work.
It will be worth it.
_____________________________
If your bible is a mess; your life won't be.
~Encouragement a mom gave to our children at our First Grader's Bible Ceremony!
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