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What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/22/2008 5:07:30 PM
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jesuschick247
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Okay, so I have a question for you guys. I have always been a tomboy and hung out with the guys, I mean sure I'm still a girl and love to shop and do all that girly stuff, but I love hunting, riding 4-wheelers, playing video games, shooting archery and all that stuff that is considered to be stuff that guys do. I've just always fit in better with guys and hung out with them more than other girls and didn't see a problem with that until the other day when one of my guy friends told me he liked me and asked me out, not cool since I only see him as a big brother and an annoying one at that! He thought I liked him back and when asked him why he said it was because I flirted with him all the time, but I wasn't even aware I was flirting with him! Needless to say, he was kind of upset that I didn't like him back, but we worked it out, we're still friends.
My question is what do guys consider as flirting? I mean because to my knowledge, this guy shouldn't have thought I was flirting, I mean I smart off at him all the time, make fun of him, and basically tell him what I'm thinking when I'm thinking it! I just want to know what's considered flirting so I will avoid doing this again in the future!
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/22/2008 7:44:03 PM
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John_O
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In certain circumstances teasing is very definite flirting.
If a guy likes you, almost anything you do can be seen as flirting
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 9:22:38 AM
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jesuschick247
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
In certain circumstances teasing is very definite flirting.
If a guy likes you, almost anything you do can be seen as flirting
Great! Guess I can't really do anything about it then, because I tease EVERYBODY!!(It's just how my personality is wired I guess!)
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 10:30:03 AM
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APZR
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Ah... adolescence. When a million pounds of hormones are surging through a teen or twenty something, anything and everything is flirting. You are no longer a little girl in the play circle, you are growing up and so are the guys... which means they are starting to "discover" girls and their "differences". You can expect more curiosity and interest from the guys.
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 10:57:01 AM
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mrtigger
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I really can't clearly define where the line between friendly and flirting is. I think I know flirting when I see it but I can't really define it.
I don't think you can do anything that will prevent all misunderstandings of this kind. Someone who makes a habit of making friends with the opposite sex will sometimes be misunderstood as flirting. It is just something that goes along with the territory.
I guess that is why many persons tend to shy away from opposite sex friendships. Too many misunderstandings and awkward situations.
You could be proactive about setting the record straight from the beginning... When you first meet new guy friends, find a way to work it into the conversation that your friendliness has sometimes been seen as flirting by other guys but you intend just friendliness. I think that will reduce, although probably not eliminate, the number of misunderstandings of your intentions.
And especially if you start getting those vibes that a guy friend may have feelings for you, find someway to address the issue with him and set it straight right away.
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 10:59:34 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mrtigger
And especially if you start getting those vibes that a guy friend may have feelings for you, find someway to address the issue with him and set it straight right away.
right, ask him what he considered flirting ... it might be something you didn't even list and didn't consider
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 11:07:54 AM
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jesuschick247
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quote:
right, ask him what he considered flirting ... it might be something you didn't even list and didn't consider
I actually asked him that just last night, he said it was because I am overly friendly and smile all the time, but now that he knows me better he realized that it's just my personality to be that way. He said he didn't think it would have mattered what I did, he liked me so he would have considered anything flirting.
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 11:35:42 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
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there you go :) perhaps us guys should try to notice if your interactions with us are the same as your intereactions with others to look for differences
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 12:52:51 PM
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DaveW
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To paraphrase an old saying: "Flirting is in the eyes of the beholder."
I have always been pretty clueless and most of what passes for flirting to me would just be annoying. Teasing is DEFINATELY annoying.
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/23/2008 1:10:39 PM
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GroupW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: APZR
Do you REALLY expect young guys to notice such subtle things when clouded by testosterone? 
I don't know. When I was young and single breathing, walking, chewing, and toenail clipping could all have been construed as flirting.
Of course, I went to an all male college and was maybe a bit desperate ....
BT
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 9/26/2008 1:26:12 AM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: mrtigger
And especially if you start getting those vibes that a guy friend may have feelings for you, find someway to address the issue with him and set it straight right away.
right, ask him what he considered flirting ... it might be something you didn't even list and didn't consider
This is great, but you know she's really asking us how we think women flirt with us, not how to get some kind of list of things from one person. Just tell her you'd rather not tell her. No one walks up to someone and asks what actions they could take could be perceived as someone flirting with them. That's part of the Big Game of Chaser and Chasee. Talk about putting a huge mental trip on some friend and a psychobabble talk in someone else.
Wikipedia on flirting
I know, not a definitive source for some.
Flirting in my direction, as was mentioned, is really not so much something you know you are doing as something I perceive is happening. So to me, if you could have done something with much less effort, yet appear to have gone an extra mile, or such... that could well be flirting. Now, why to be specific, to prevent anyone from possibly flirting, I could become a public enemy. No one should have such knoledge. 
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 10/10/2008 3:41:15 PM
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p8ntballer4christ926
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flirting to me is usually apparent, i am pretty oblivious, but when girls do different stuff to you than they would the next guy, for instance touching, teasing etc
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 10/12/2008 7:21:06 PM
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humbleinspirit
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Just about anything can be considered flirting from a guy if he is interested in you. But real flirting is a playful teasing type of thing among other things.
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 10/12/2008 11:14:39 PM
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OneJohn410
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As you suggested, just your nature of spending lots more time with the guys than than the gals. Give a guy 30 minutes of your time doing something he likes to be doing... puddle jumping on his 4-wheeler, hunting, fishing, working on his old car in his folks front yard, watching the ball game... and as you said, that to him is flirting.
How's this impacted your life, btw. Have you ditched being a tomboy now?
_____________________________
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: What Do Guys Consider Flirting? - 10/13/2008 11:03:09 AM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2884
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
As you suggested, just your nature of spending lots more time with the guys than than the gals. Give a guy 30 minutes of your time doing something he likes to be doing... puddle jumping on his 4-wheeler, hunting, fishing, working on his old car in his folks front yard, watching the ball game... and as you said, that to him is flirting.
How's this impacted your life, btw. Have you ditched being a tomboy now?
Let's see it's impacted my life by making one of my really good friends start to kind of fall for
me, super cool! (I have liked him for a SUPER LONG TIME!) And being friends with guys has
helped me to know what I want and don't want in my future husband. It has helped me to see
how differently guys brains are wired than girls. I have completely ditched being a tomboy, I'm
still counting down the days until rifle season opens down here...(that buck is mine this year!)
But, I am taking more time to be a girl and do other things than just what I am used to doing.
I'm afraid though, that no matter what I am wearing or how perfect my make-up looks on that
day, if you are going puddle jumping on the 4-wheelers, I could never turn you down! I'm still
never going to be a "high-maintenance" girl, it's just not my personality!
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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