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Social Skills - 11/5/2008 10:12:14 PM
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zippty_day
Posts: 889
Status: offline
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What is it that makes us fear other people? Fear of rejection, wanting acceptance, and the longing to 'fit' in sure makes it difficult when you happen to be the 'newbie'. Even on forums, have you ever noticed the insecurity flare up? If one person is sarcastic and the person they're speaking to isn't, why the sarcastic one could be highly offensive to the straight one.
I've been posting on another chit chat forum that my brother invited me to. His wife, my sil, also posts frequently. Everything was pretty hunky dory until sil's sister started posting. Now I've got an insecurity complex. I'm not the favorite. Sil's sister doesn't like me and deleted me from her 'accepted' friends. I could not believe how much it hurt my feelings. It couldn't have happened at a worse time, right before that 'girls' day.
Before I started posting on forums, about 1 1/2 years ago, I felt real confident in myself. I had my inner circle of friends and people on the outside that wanted in. Now, I think I've gone through a humbling season again and my poopularity isn't so poopular :) anymore. That's ok, I'm nearly 40 years old and I have a perfectly handsome husband that doesn't mind having all of my time to himself. I'm social so I like to talk on occasion, I don't know about you.
Sooo, tonight I'm posting on that 'other' forum and I delete a post I made after feeling self conscience again. Maybe the comment won't come across as funny as it was to me. So what's up with my behaviour. Am I weird? LOL Anyone else here really social and have to tone it down sos not to scare other people off?
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RE: Social Skills - 11/5/2008 11:22:19 PM
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Ps103
Posts: 11743
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
Status: offline
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No--you aren't weird--what your SIL's sister did hurt your feelings, and I don't blame you.
But you can't go on letting what other people do rule your life. If you enjoy posting on the forum with your family, don't let one snarky person keep you away. Just ignore her and go about your business.
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: Social Skills - 11/5/2008 11:57:32 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 765
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
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Somebody would have to be pretty direct with me
online in order for me to see their words as being
an attack on me.
Besides, you can report someone for personal attacks!
I use to be like this, I would post my opinion/reply to someone's
question on here and seldom did I ever go back to check out their
reply to what I said.... it was only recently that I started going back
and checking out the replies on a somewhat regular basis! LOL
*Actually someone on here had to prompt me to reply to something
they'd posted to something I'd written... I won't even mention the constant overlooking of mail in my box on this site... LOL!!!
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RE: Social Skills - 11/6/2008 12:13:36 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1938
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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We cover it well, but most people are pretty insecure. It helps me to step back and see the bigger picture - here's a verbal Venn diagram:
Small circle: SIL's sis doesn't like me. Uncomfortable.
Bigger circle that's around the smaller one: God tells us to love one another fervently, love covers sins, use gracious words to build others up.
Conclusion: SIL's sis is blowing it. Maybe she's not a Christian, or maybe she's carnal.
Even if you are insecure, nervous, irritating, whatever - she's called to love you. The flip side is you're called to love her, too. Put it in action - what can you do for her? You can pray, you can fix a meal if she's sick, you can offer to drive her to the shop to pick up her car when it's ready. Opportunities will come up where you can serve her in love. When she's testy, cover that sin in love. Be nice to her anyway.
If she never responds to you, at least you did it right and God will bless and heal you.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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