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Not my turn...

 
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Not my turn... - 10/31/2008 8:27:45 PM   
BeautifulFemale


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/21/2008
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I don't get it...I've met a new guy at work -he was just part of the team for a 2 week period which sure did fly and so many of his qualities (CHARACTER -like modesty, smarts, gentleness, gentlemanliness, together, focussed, works hard, relaxed overtone/easy going, respectful, etc) are what I desire - I've written some of this list down before in another post. He's not PAUL RUDD lookalike, he's asian, with a deep voice (love that too) and the first I've ever been attracted to.
We get along very well and I seemed to make him laugh/smile a lot because apparently, he's not the smiling type with others nor very outgoing with many people who knew him.

All this seemed surreal, but then, I heard that he was involved with another girl. I know God doesn't play mind games, and no, this hasnt been like other experiences I've had, but why would I meet someone like this who's awesome in many ways, but once again....appear to not be my turn?
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RE: Not my turn... - 10/31/2008 9:17:31 PM   
deermousie


Posts: 1942
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
This frustrated me a lot, too. I finally realized half the world's population is male and some of them are Christians and some of them are nice - say, maybe 400,000 of them in the world? But only one can marry me. That means the other 399,999 have lives that might be known to me or maybe aren't, but no matter how wonderful they are they aren't there for me. I'm never going to be a major person in their lives.

I am here to bless others and share God's Word and be the cog in a whole bunch of cogs that will do God's will and bring Him glory, whether I know how it will work or not. So I'll just keep loving and obeying by God's grace, and maybe someday God will show us home movies and we'll see how it all related. And we'll rejoice.

_____________________________

Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Not my turn... - 10/31/2008 9:56:41 PM   
delete123

 

Posts: 991
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Do yourself a favor, STOP looking! This is when the Lord does His best, when you have given up the search, so you will glorify Him with the end results.
Think about it!
Post #: 3
RE: Not my turn... - 10/31/2008 10:05:02 PM   
novitiate


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It sounds so cliche to say stop looking, but this precisely what we must do. I found myself just like you. Only the last oh so perfect guy turned out to be one who once wanted to be a reverend that had gone astray and become agnostic. Needless to say that Lord whisked him away quickly.

Then when I wasn't looking and wasn't considering anyone at all. Because of course I'm still occupying myself with wishful thinking with mister I no longer believ., He sent someone my way. The experience was surprising, nothing I would have ever scripted, definitely not someone I would have picked on my own, but precisely what I've wanted.

I found strength and peace in realizing that my prayer went unanswered while God was busy perfecting His vessel as I waited. Remember that perfection goes both ways. Good luck and be blessed.

_____________________________

God took my deficits and made them my offering.
Post #: 4
RE: Not my turn... - 10/31/2008 10:20:36 PM   
BeautifulFemale


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That's the thing, I wasn't looking. This guy is Asian and I thought it was quite surreal.
Post #: 5
RE: Not my turn... - 10/31/2008 10:30:37 PM   
delete123

 

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I have a friend who daughter who prayed for 3 yrs to find a husband. The Lord put several men in her path. After she stopped looking and /Be hold the Lord put a an on her heart.
They got married 2 y/ago and are now expecting #2.
Give it up and allow Him to draw the men to you
Post #: 6
RE: Not my turn... - 11/1/2008 12:00:29 AM   
Odile

 

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Beautiful... I know this experience well!!!

And I would be lying if I didn't admit that sometimes it felt down right cruel. I wasn't looking for this guy to come into my life, I didn't expect any such guy to come into my life, I hadn't even been praying at that point he would come into my life... and then BOOM, there here was. Literately from the moment I met him we had an instant connection. But when I initially met him, I didn't even consider him a potential; he was younger and had a busy schedule. At that point it was easy for me to accept it wasn't meant to be. Though I am still struck by how comfortable I was with this stranger (and believe me.... I am NO people person). Then, as the weeks grew into months of us knowing eachother, I could no longer deny that he was everything (and more) I ever dreamed about. Somehow our friendship just continued to grow... despite any action taken by either of us. We were never intentional about getting together or spending time together, but we kept getting thrown together. After months of this I could not keep my guard up any longer, and I fell HARD!!!! He was very good about not given me unwarranted attention, or robust flirtation, and he often commented that I was "like his sister." Part of me knew where I stood, but part of me couldn't help but hope. I have no words for the devastating blow it was when I discovered he'd fallen for another girl.

Thankfully the physical hurt only lasted one night (one LONG night), though the emotional pain took a bit more time. I still do not understand the situation and every once in a while I have a moment of disappointment, sometimes even anger, but overall.... I have a peace. I may never understand why God allowed this situation, but I have no doubt it will all work out to His glory. And that I just can't argue with. I pray God will grant you that same peace.
Post #: 7
RE: Not my turn... - 11/1/2008 3:25:34 AM   
novitiate


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Have you considered that your connection with him and the experience as a whole may be in preparation for something to come?

I had the same experience with the agnostic person. Yet I learned from him to appreciate a softer gentler man and realized I wanted someone with that temperament. In addition I desired the openness we had as well. So it wasn't completely useless. Do a little soul searching and see what you come up with.

I suspect his ethnicity is a hint for you to think outside the box. You can't predict who the Lord will send. But we usually have a well crafted image in our minds.

_____________________________

God took my deficits and made them my offering.
Post #: 8
RE: Not my turn... - 11/1/2008 4:28:39 AM   
saraimay75


Posts: 8109
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From: Wherever God plants me.
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeautifulFemale

This guy is Asian and I thought it was quite surreal.


How is it surreal? Are you Asian? If not, what is Asian to you?

_____________________________

God love admiration . . . I think it annoys God if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.
~Alice Walker~

http://360.yahoo.com/saraimay75
Post #: 9
RE: Not my turn... - 11/1/2008 6:32:47 PM   
BeautifulFemale


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Surreal because I've never thought about an asian guy in that way - I've met really sweeeeeeeeeet asians hence why I've hung out with many in the latter years of my life. I am not asian - and what makes it more interesting is that my family is mixed too. This guy and I have experienced similar things in our life although in different countries and different surroundings, but when it comes to the boil down - we're similar -from what I know anyway.
Yes, I do think this guy probably is someone who God is hinting at me - his ethnicity, but then again, I'm chocolate and have always like cream colored guys -so now yellow makes it even more interesting, lol. I think it's cute -that's what Asian is to me now...cute. Never thought of it in that way. At one time I thought I was marrying a messianic jew. Go figure:D
Post #: 10
RE: Not my turn... - 11/6/2008 12:39:08 AM   
jaimestarcross

 

Posts: 765
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: online
Maybe God wanted you to appreciate this guy for
his good qualities and enjoy being treated well?

When bad times come I tend to think about the nice people
who were in my life for a short season - their kindnesses always
makes me feel like smiling even if things in my world is going
all wrong... it's a blessing to have good memories to reflect
back upon.
Post #: 11
RE: Not my turn... - 11/6/2008 2:08:58 AM   
Katie-Scarlet


Posts: 130
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: online
I think we have all had this happen to us. We meet someone and become interested in them only for them not to be interested in us and end up with someone else and they end up staying together.

Why does this happen it doesn't have to be anything spiritual we as humans always need an answer for why something happens its our way of coping but the reality of life is just this. Sometimes things just happen. It is natural for us as humans to have attractions and interest in others when or why it happens will always be a mystery. The fact of life is you will meet people that you will want to see if a relationship will work with that will not have the same interest in you. Just as I am sure there are people that had an interest in you that you did not return. Its life.

Its not fair to assume just because a person aquires an interest in someone that they were looking for it. Sometimes you meet a person and for some reason an interest grows. If we are single then its only natural to want to see where that will lead to if you don't take that chance then you will never have anyone.

I'm 41 single and haven't had anyone interested in me since I was in my early twenties. Why I have no clue. I have met men that I would have been interested in and even some that returned that interest but for some reason it never works out. Like other I go through phases of wondering why, being angry about it or just not caring. I know its hard when you want an answer but hey God isn't going to remove everything from our lives.

_____________________________

Satans job is 24hrs 365 days a year and he never takes lunch, vacation or has a sick day.

Are you ready to join the war? Know your enemy, prepare yourself.
Post #: 12
RE: Not my turn... - 11/6/2008 8:40:18 AM   
buckifn

 

Posts: 1866
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

but why would I meet someone like this who's awesome in many ways, but once again....appear to not be my turn?


God allows people in our life for MANY different reasons...and most of them have nothing to do with marriage. Have you ever thought about the fact there may be something you need to help him learn?

If you are selecting people based on whether or not you will marry them I think you will find yourself living a very lonely life.

Why not embrace people just as they are and allow the Holy Spirit to take care of the rest? He certainly does a better job than we can!
Post #: 13
RE: Not my turn... - 11/6/2008 10:25:11 AM   
Katie-Scarlet


Posts: 130
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: online
Beautiful Female

I think the question you are really asking is why would God LET you aquire feelings for someone who he knew was not the one he had for you. Yes?

We want to do Gods will and turn over everything to him and let him make the choice of mate for us which is all good BUT we have to remember God made us a certain way and that is relational. We will aquire feelings for others and most times that feeling will not be returned it is just a part of life. We forget God is also of God of choice he does not take away everthing from us that isn't for us. If he took away all romantic interest until he was ready for us to meet the one then he would be taking away our choice to choose whomever we want, in a sense it would be forcing us to only feel when he is ready for us to meet our spouse. This would not allow us to learn and grow and to experience life.

God does not remove everthing from our lives why would he make us relational just to take that attribute away from us UNTIL its time for us to meet the right person. Instead of wanting God to prevent us from becoming attached to anyone who is not our one (which trust me I have prayed for LOL) we should expect God to help us deal with the rejection that we all in life will face.

This is just a part of life. Just because we have decided to wait until we meet the one God approves of doesn't mean that God will not allow us to experience the human emotions he gave us. Don't over spiritualize it, there is a time and place for that in relationships sure but not always. Know now that you will become attracted to people that aren't for you. This is living life. It hurts, its confusing and yes we want that why answer so we can better deal with the pain it caused but knowing why isn't the only way to cope and isn't always necessary for us to deal, accept and heal.

You were interested he wasn't hear that internally, deal with it, accept it and then move on with life. I have had to do this very thing VERY recently so I don't mean this to be harsh. God will not sheild you from everything in life. Experience it grow if there is a lesson to be learned and if it happens to just be one of those random love drive by's ( sp?) then tend to the wound thank God you survived it and don't live in fear of it happening again because it probably will

_____________________________

Satans job is 24hrs 365 days a year and he never takes lunch, vacation or has a sick day.

Are you ready to join the war? Know your enemy, prepare yourself.
Post #: 14
RE: Not my turn... - 11/9/2008 2:20:34 AM   
novitiate


Posts: 92
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline
And if God is truly preparing us for the one He has selected for us. Wouldn't that preparation include encounters with others? How are we to know what is right if we cannot detect what's wrong?

I truly sympathize. I used to ask this question a lot myself. But tonight as I prayed I realized that He had been preparing me in the most awesome ways and I'm able to handle things of this nature far better than I could in the past.

As others have said it is hard. But as uncomfortable as it may seem it does not compare with being yoked inappropriately.

_____________________________

God took my deficits and made them my offering.
Post #: 15
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