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My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:02:20 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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I need some good christian advise. My husband moved out about a month and two weeks ago and told me he wanted a divorse, well he went back and forth on that. Just this past week twice he came over the house and he promised me we could work things out little by little but within a day I found out he has been seeing someone he knows from his teen years. We have two small boys and I cant beleive he has done this. Now after I caught him, he came forth and told me the truth and said he wants a divorse again. He said if we try to work things out, it wouldnt be the same. What does he mean? Cause I found out he was laying to me. He told me in the Lords name there was no other woman. He is also christian but has not been commited to the Lord. I don't know what to think. I am very hurt and don't even want to talk to him, not that he is trying to talk to me either. I need to be good for my children. Is there a chance our marriage could be restored eventhough he doesn't want? And would I be able to forget eveything??
I know everything is posible for him who believes but somehow right now I have this grey cloud over my eyes and cannot see him coming back.
Thanks for listering,
A heart that hurts...
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:08:28 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 2062
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: online
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There's certainly hope and God can restore a marriage in your kind of situation - but He can't do that if both of you don't want it and want it badly enough to humble yourselves before Him. I don't say that to be hopeless because it doesn't sound like your dh knows what he wants. I don't have any answers for you but know that God has this in control, He wont forsake you; if you stay focused on Him, He'll still be working in your life regardless of what your husband decides. I'm so sorry.
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:09:45 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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Thank you for your support!
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:24:10 PM
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deedeeowens
Posts: 89
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You're faced with a lot of hurt and broken trust. Just remember HE is the one that is responsible for this situation. You are the one that has been offended. It is up to HIM to change his heart and make things right. You can't force that. If he comes to you and sincerely repents, God will give you the grace to forgive him and move forward. But for now, of course your hurt and don't even want to talk to him. That's a normal reaction! Just stay close to the Lord and keep praying. Stay open to whatever the Lord wants for you and your boys and you will be okay. He's the one in trouble, and if he is a believer he won't be able to hide from God forever. You on the other hand can walk in confidence that you're heart is right with God and he is going to get you through this. Know that you're loved and cared about by your brothers and sisters in the Lord and you're never alone.
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:36:03 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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I did not mentioned that through out our marriage, we argued a lot and everytime he hurt my feeling, I tried to hurt his back by bringing up his past. I know I hurt him by doing this and he did tell me about 2 weeks ago over the phone at 3am. I know that I did not uplifted him like a wife is supposed to do to their husband. I also feel he was never really helpful with the children and when he became upset with me, he would go to the clubs (he is going to be 30 Sat. and I am 36). I asked the Lord for forgiveness and I know I was wrong for hurting him. I also asked him to forgive me but that doen't give him the right to be with another woman. he has violated our marriage. I never thought he would do something like this. He always told me how much he loved me and that we would be together forever.
I feel pain for the children who pray at night with me and they ask God to bring their daddy back.
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:41:41 PM
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mmplps7783
Posts: 1
Joined: 11/18/2008
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I faced the same situation four years ago. I Had started going to church a year before we split up. I found out I was pregnant in Feb and that he was cheating on me in March  . I prayed and prayed for my husband that he would become a Christian and I forgave him and we talked and I sacrificed myself just so that my baby would have her father. The whole time people from the church kept warning me that ultimately it was my husbands choice. Needless to say I did everything to get him back into my home. He came back but it was still the same sneaking and seeing "the other woman". By that time I felt like the "other woman". I gave the whole thing over to God. Yes I continued to pray for my husband that I would have a good husband that would be agoood role model and father for my child.
God gave me one alright. I divorced my husband (after a months of the whole back and forth thing) and am now married to a wonderful husband and terrific role and father for our three children. Yes I said 3 (ages 1,3,4 yrs) and he loves my four year old as much as the other two.
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 5:52:21 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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How long before you met your new husband? I really don't want to divorce but I know that I have no choice if that's what he wants. I am praying so hard that it will be God's Will cause I know I will be happy. It is so hard. How did you get over the situation without loosing your mind??
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/18/2008 6:11:37 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 2062
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 4gven2
I did not mentioned that through out our marriage, we argued a lot and everytime he hurt my feeling, I tried to hurt his back by bringing up his past. I know I hurt him by doing this and he did tell me about 2 weeks ago over the phone at 3am. I know that I did not uplifted him like a wife is supposed to do to their husband. I also feel he was never really helpful with the children and when he became upset with me, he would go to the clubs (he is going to be 30 Sat. and I am 36). I asked the Lord for forgiveness and I know I was wrong for hurting him. I also asked him to forgive me but that doen't give him the right to be with another woman. he has violated our marriage. I never thought he would do something like this. He always told me how much he loved me and that we would be together forever.
I feel pain for the children who pray at night with me and they ask God to bring their daddy back.
No one has a perfect marriage one day and finds themselves in the middle of an affair the next. Of course you weren't perfect, none of us are. And, yes, you have to own the mistakes that you made, but you can't own the mistakes that HE made/is making.
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/19/2008 5:00:12 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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My husband left about a month an a half ago because we were arguing a lot and not being good to each other. I thought he was just partying with guys (eventhough he is christain but not obidient at this time) but now I found out he is seeing some other woman. He was with me last week and told me how he loved me and wanted to save the marriage and the day after he confessed to me after I caught him and told me has been seeing someone he has known for 14 yrs. He said they have not been together intimately (I don't beleive him). He does not want to try to save his marriage now. He is still with this person. I ask that who reads this pray for him. I know he is confused right now. On Thanksgiving Day we would have been celebrating our 6th yr anniversary. We have 2 beautiful children (almost 4 yr old and 2.5yrs). About 5 yrs ago we were visiting a church in Philadelphia and the pastor without knowing him ministered to him and told him he was going to teach the word of God because of what God had delivered him from. (As a child he used to run away from home for months at a time and as an adult, he has left me 3 times already). Please Pray!!
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/20/2008 1:47:40 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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Just last night I was coming out or church with my children and just had a good time with the Lord, I get a text from my husband asking me when we are meeting up to sign the divorse (or legal separation) papers. I was devastated. But I recognize that it was the enemy. My husband is so blinded right now. He said that TD Jakes was divorsed and God will forgive him for divorsing too. Please Pray that the Lord softens his heart and that he comes to his sences. Pray that he will not be confused. I will continue to fight the good fight!!
4gven2
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/20/2008 3:54:37 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4460
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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not that i am encouraging you to pursue any legal options but before you sign any papers you should realize a lawyer can legally only represent one side of a divorce. anything your husband asks you to sign will be crafted to favor him. a word here or lack of a word there, can completely change the outcome of something. i think just signing it in hopes he'll like you more and remember that so one day he wants to return will never materialize. most affairs end on their own when reality sets in but if this doesn't and you end up going through with the divorce, you are the primary caregiver to your children and need to protect them and thus yourself with a lawyer yourself. praying for your family ...
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/20/2008 6:49:49 PM
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grneyedmnstr
Posts: 15
Joined: 11/20/2008
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i'm going through a similar situation with my husband and we are in counseling to try and work things out. The most important thing you can do is pray. It may seem like you're praying unendingly but God will answer your prayers.
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/24/2008 1:28:21 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
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Just an update! I continues to text me and call me with any old excuse but yet continues to say he doesn't not want to be with me. I have a feeling he is with the other woman, but I don't know for sure. His birthday was Saturday (30 yrs old). I feel he is very confused on what he wants to do because he has drifted away from God. He told me this past week that TD Jakes was divorced and he continues to have a relationship with God and that God will forgive him too. I know he is lost in the world right now and I pray that God opens his heart to see the truth and save our family.
Pray that he will listen to Godly counsel and not be a man who is unteachable! Thx you!
4gven2 :-(
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 11/29/2008 12:46:03 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 763
Joined: 11/28/2005
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quote:
Just an update! I continues to text me and call me with any old excuse but yet continues to say he doesn't not want to be with me. I have a feeling he is with the other woman, but I don't know for sure. His birthday was Saturday (30 yrs old). I feel he is very confused on what he wants to do because he has drifted away from God. He told me this past week that TD Jakes was divorced and he continues to have a relationship with God and that God will forgive him too. I know he is lost in the world right now and I pray that God opens his heart to see the truth and save our family.
*Encourage him to "drift" back to God and set a good example for
his children.
TD Jakes may have a good relationship with the Lord but he had to put in the time and effort to make it possible.
God didn't give him or anyone else a free pass!
The consequences of divorce has life long repercussions -
and being able to deal with the fall out from divorce takes
a toil on a Christians faith walk -
not to mention how his or her family/children react to divorce.
If a Christian wants to have more victories in their life -
they're going to have to get plugged into God, so they can
bear those hard times... without God they will be like a leaf
tossed about by the wind!
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 12/1/2008 3:55:20 PM
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4gven2
Posts: 14
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline
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jaimestarcross, Thank for your words. They were encouraging. I do pray for him to open his heart to God and when I have a chance I demonstrate God's love through me and encourage him to seek the Lord. Last night we talked and he said he is reading "So You Call Yourself a Man" by TD Jakes and the One by Joel Osteen. I do trust God that all things work together for my GOOD.
4gven2
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RE: My husband moved out.. - 12/1/2008 4:03:14 PM
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journeyman7
Posts: 65
Joined: 11/11/2007
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I pray that you will be restored and granted the strength to endure this terrible situation. I am sorry hear about divorces, children, infidelity, and the like in the world. We are truly sinners and we have to give it to God. I pray for you and I want you to know that you are not alone. Keep the faith and keep your eyes towards God.
God Bless,
_____________________________
Mt 16:24 -
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me
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