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Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/1/2008 1:05:47 PM
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solomonsprayer
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I have a question about whether it is considered stalking if you look at people's MySpace...Facebook...or other online website and profile info. that you know (whether close friends or acquaintences).....
There is someone I know who is an acquaintance who is a little creepy to me in that he seems to check people out online for their background. We wre talking once and he seemed to know some stuff about me and I was suprised. I guess this person is in between a friend and acquaintance. We have talked about personal things in the past, but not on a very deep level and I've not shared deep stuff nor would want to with this person.
We're not total acquaintances in that we've hung out and talked casually....just not someone I call for help or even talk to regularly.
Anyhow, this guy seemed to really know stuff about people that seemed like acquaintances. Even once we were talking about something and he in the middle of the conversation looked a person up on the net I was referencing. It was weird.
Do you consider that an invasion of privacy or like stalking? .... 
I don't want to sound like a hypocrite. I've looked up people I was interested in date wise on the internet. I have varoius friend site profiles and use my acount to "check out" people I know as well. (These are people I haven't officially added as friends, but am just curious about....as potential friends.). ......I guess the one difference is that I don't bring up that person's private info. into a conversation and tell them I know things about them (based on their website) .....I'd be scared it would make them feel weird. ....Maybe this guy I am talking about just is socially clueless.
The only thing that was kind of creepy was that he seemed to potentially live in a fantasy world. Rather than talking to some people, he'd use their sites and profiles to make guesses about their lives and personalities, etc. ...I don't know......I guess a lot of people do that, lol. ....
Ok, so is this weird or not....Normal?
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/1/2008 1:29:47 PM
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mvic
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I will not discuss this particular person you mention.
But I will try to answer your point about checking people out on MySpace, Facebook, their personal websites etc ...
When people enter their details on these websites it is because they want others to read them. The information therein is now public domain.
So if you don't want everyone to know that you hate chocolates for example - then don't say so on your website.
So personally I see nothing wrong in checking out your friends on their websites. That's what the website is there for.
As to using that information and passing it on to a third party - i.e. me telling eveyone that you don't like chocolates. Well, that's up to the individual really. I personally would not do it.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/1/2008 5:37:26 PM
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solomonsprayer
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One other thing about my "friend" from that scenario. He has also looked up my employment and school history, which is kind of weird. I don't know what his interest in doing that is, but he seems presumptuous to be looking into my work/company profile online and then making comments about what he believes the place is like and what other people are like (he actually looks at my co-workers profiles too)...It's just weird. It's like he checks out EVERYTHING about me. That's why to me, it can seem kind of nutty and creepy at times.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/1/2008 8:08:04 PM
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nevaehs_gaze
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I wouldn't call it stalking, as it's not one specific person... but for someone who is uncomfortable with it and he continues to do so knowingly, I'd say it's an invasion of privacy. Otherwise, as mvic stated, the Internet is a public domain and as long as he isn't hacking people's accounts, he's free to research as he pleases. If you don't want your personal information discovered, find ways to keep it private. And I don't think he's completely strange as I've known similar people who do so too.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 2:08:51 AM
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cheeky_monkey
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I think it's strange to look up financial information, employment, etc., of other people for no good reason, but I don't really know if it's considered stalking. I'm on myspace, and one of the reasons is I'd like some of my old friends to contact me if they were to ever join. I keep my page private, though, so not just anyone can read about me or view my pics.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 5:48:30 AM
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mvic
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Hi Solomonsprayer,
I think I misunderstood your original post. You say that this individual has looked up your employment and school history, and your work/company profile. Where is this information? Did you put it on your MySpace/Facebook profile for all to read?
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 8:28:34 AM
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mrtigger
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I'm no lawyer but I doubt that looking up peoples info on the internet meets the legal criteria of stalking. Especially in regards to the myspace type of site where you have voluntarily put information about yourself for others to see.
Someone who spends a lot of time looking up people on the internet is a bit weird though.
Personally, I don't usually search on people although a few people I have been curious about and looked up what I could about them. And sometimes if I'm considering doing business with someone, I'll do a search of the court system to see if they have a criminal or lawsuit history. If they do, it's best to skip them.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 8:41:57 AM
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stamper_ben
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Do not type anything about yourself on a keyboard that you don't want to be known by the whole world.
There is a time and place for doing background checks on folks, such as if I were to hire anyone to work in my home or care for a loved one I'd feel no hesitation to buy a background check for criminal records of that person.
In general people are curious about those they interact with. What is being described is really no different then our clicking on the handle in your name here to see what there is in your profile, what your last 50 or 100 posts were, when you joined, etc.
So, is it creepy? Depends... Is it stalking? Again, it depends...
But again, do not share anything about yourself on the internet that you don't want known.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 8:56:27 AM
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buckifn
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Usually no...I don't like sites like facebook, myspace, etc and never bother reading them...but once I did use a site that allows you to look up the price of a specific home...and I did feel that was an invasion of privacy of sorts...but hey the information is out there so of course people will use it.
Based on the op that sounds like a person who is a little too obsessed imo.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 9:38:59 AM
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Consecrated2God
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I do that sometimes, but not because I'm stalking anyone. Sometimes I'm curious about a person and want to find more about them for one reason or another. I don't think there's anything wrong with that--it's public information.
I'm sure a stalker would be looking up someone's background, but just because someone looks up someone's background wouldn't mean they are a stalker.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 9:53:47 AM
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IonMoon
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Call me creepy! I google people I know all the time! I don't do it obsessively (and it sounds like this guy may have a little too much time on his hands), but I do it. Shrug. It is like chekcing out people's houses when you walk by... Yeah, standing on a ladder to look into a window is going too far, but peeking in as you pass on the street...?
I figure public info is well, public...
AND taking it further, that is why I try to be careful about what is out there about ME. As someone said- don't make it available unless you are okay with people knowing it!
Tara P
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 11:03:02 AM
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jaimestarcross
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Privacy got tossed out the window when you posted
personal information in open forum or in cyberspace...
that info is available to anyone!
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/2/2008 2:27:03 PM
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cheeky_monkey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IonMoon
Call me creepy! I google people I know all the time! I don't do it obsessively (and it sounds like this guy may have a little too much time on his hands), but I do it. Shrug. It is like chekcing out people's houses when you walk by... Yeah, standing on a ladder to look into a window is going too far, but peeking in as you pass on the street...?
Tara P
One of my dirty little secrets is when it's night time and we drive by a house with a TV on that I can see through the window, I'll peek in as we pass to see if I can make out what show they're watching. Totally not stalking, lol!
I look up people on myspace and google all the time, not to stalk but to see if I can find them and see how they're doing. I've lost track of so many friends from when I was younger. I'd love to touch base with them.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/3/2008 11:21:42 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mvic
I think I misunderstood your original post. You say that this individual has looked up your employment and school history, and your work/company profile. Where is this information? Did you put it on your MySpace/Facebook profile for all to read?
right - facebook especially makes it really easy to see common friends, etc ... he sees your profile which lists your company and clicks it and suddenly there is a list of co-workers some of which he may know. also the way updates work, it seems i know all sorts of stuff about my friend's interacting with other friends ... ie) when someone writes someone else a message on their wall, it shows on my page without me doing any stalking at all ... i think he does have too much time on his hands ... perhaps he does this as he doesn't many friends and was hoping to find out common interests to relate with you ...
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/3/2008 3:20:10 PM
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solomonsprayer
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mvic
Hi Solomonsprayer,
I think I misunderstood your original post. You say that this individual has looked up your employment and school history, and your work/company profile. Where is this information? Did you put it on your MySpace/Facebook profile for all to read?
I've put it in varuios places. My place of employment has my background, my Facebook has some of it....there are other places that seem to have me as well - though not a big name site or work place. Just sites I may be linked to through involvement of activities, etc.
I guess that weirder parts were when he knew my educational and work background through looking it up. We were talking once and he said it thought it was itneresting what I did work-wise. I was dumbfounded, because I didnt' rcall telling him this information back then. ...Then he referenced my name on that site and said "I loooked you up out of curiosity." ...
I guess one good thing is that he's open and honest aobut it, but then again that's what's weird. For example, if I've ever looked up someone out of curiosity, I'd not tell them about it if I didn't know them well. Close friends are one thing....Of course we all look each other up. But an acquaintance is another thing....I wouldn't tell some girl at church who I might be interested in that I looked her up online. Or I wouldn't tell some church guy I didn't know well that I checked him out on the net to see his interests, etc.
This guy ....he flat out tells me he does this and says stuff I woudlnt' expect him to know. I know it's public info....but still. It's odd to hear someone tell you this stuff and they've checked you out.
It's just weird is all I have to say. I wonder if it'd be better if he did it and didnt' tell me? .....
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/5/2008 6:43:10 PM
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srvHimalone
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Hi Solomonsprayer,
I agree if you don’t think of this person as a close friend or one that you would regularly talk to then obviously you would feel offended. I think this person must have a very straight forward character or he must be from a culture background that is straight forward by the way he said right out about he found you from the site and pull out the computer and look up someone else in front of you. That shows this person is very honest, doesn’t pretend, straight forward and doesn't think twice, and willing to open himself to you, perhaps more comfortable with you than you with him that’s why it was o.k. with him to share with his knowledge about you and what he learns about other people. Personally I think these sites are good if you want the whole world to know about you but if you are a private person then you may want to reconsider to be in it. I was invited to view a friend’s Face book, it seems like an interesting site at first so I looked up some other friends as well to see if they're also in the Face book but personally I think it is tempting for anyone to spend and waist a lots of time browsing it  .(unless you don’t mind the whole world to know about you and your friends plus having a lots of extra time to spend)No offence, it just a personal opinion.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/7/2008 9:46:56 PM
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solomonsprayer
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quote:
ORIGINAL: srvHimalone
Hi Solomonsprayer,
I agree if you don’t think of this person as a close friend or one that you would regularly talk to then obviously you would feel offended. I think this person must have a very straight forward character or he must be from a culture background that is straight forward by the way he said right out about he found you from the site and pull out the computer and look up someone else in front of you. That shows this person is very honest, doesn’t pretend, straight forward and doesn't think twice, and willing to open himself to you, perhaps more comfortable with you than you with him that’s why it was o.k. with him to share with his knowledge about you and what he learns about other people. Personally I think these sites are good if you want the whole world to know about you but if you are a private person then you may want to reconsider to be in it. I was invited to view a friend’s Face book, it seems like an interesting site at first so I looked up some other friends as well to see if they're also in the Face book but personally I think it is tempting for anyone to spend and waist a lots of time browsing it .(unless you don’t mind the whole world to know about you and your friends plus having a lots of extra time to spend)No offence, it just a personal opinion.
Oh no offense taken. I kind of agre.
I also like your thoughts on this guy, who told me about looking me and others up. I suppose his culture or personliayt is like that. I do find it weird, but I guess if it's just him being socially clueless or open or what not, that's fine. I think the general etiquette would be to not tell people you know all these things about them if you do in fact look them up. It's just my preference at least. It can come across weird if someone does mention this stuff.
Also, I sort of told the dude to not do that anymore. I said it was weird to always loook me and others up online and that it could be taken as a bit too nosy. He seemed to not get the point, though, and said that he was just curious. So in a way, he's still justifying things and not understandint the whole point or ...at least my issues with it. I hope he's just again clueless and not one of those who breaks boundaries because he thinks he has a right (even after being told about it).
As for those sites being a waste of time, I can see that sometimes. There are good reasons and bad ones to use them....There can also be a danger of being too nosy or perhaps living in a fantasy world if you only use those sites to represent your view of someone and not actually get to tknow them personally.
I remember this one church girl who said she was a crack addict as a joke on her site....it just gave off a very bad image and others saw it. She was a little nutty and morally undisciplined but that part about smoking crack was a little out of hand.
I think the people I respect the most seem to put the least amount of personal stuff like that online. They mostly have info. about themselves related to their profession and may be linked onto sites from their prsonal interests or activities (like sports or church, etc.), but they don't spend a lot of time using the personal sites to talk about their lives or post the latest pictures of themselves or play games with others, etc.
I'm not saying those things are wrong. I just found it interesting when thinking about people I like and repsect the most that they don't put stuff up online like that about themselves and for others to see. This is not age related either. I've seen 30 and 40 year olds I know do all those social sites and blogs, etc. ...just like kids. But consistently, when I think of those I admire and like the most, they don't have all that, lol.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/15/2008 2:42:19 AM
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pjclutterbuck
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A few weeks ago my class at university had come to the end of lectures, and we shared email addresses. I looked up the list of addresses using Facebook Friend Finder, and found a couple of people. One of them was a guy who was already on my friend list. The other was a girl I'd always avoided in class, whose Facebook page detailed her battles with anorexia and major depression. I realized then that we had a lot in common so I sent her a friend request, and when she accepted we started sharing on health issues (both physical and mental). The result was that within a few days she became interested in Christian faith, which she knew nothing about until then. If I hadn't read her Facebook page and what she shared there, none of that would have happened. I'm stil praying for her, and so are several of my church friends. 
It's true that some people's use of Facebook can be quite creepy. People do share stuff in their photo albums and on their pages that would be better kept to themselves. I can see how many users could open themselves to all sorts of trouble by not utilizing the privacy options. What's worse is that your friends can post embarrassing photos of you in their albums and tag them with your name, so they end up on your photo page whether you like it or not.
I guess, though, that if you don't want to be embarrassed online, don't do anything embarrassing offline. I know that's a lot to ask GenY and especially those who are post-GenY.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/17/2008 5:38:06 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solomonsprayer
I also like your thoughts on this guy, who told me about looking me and others up. I suppose his culture or personliayt is like that. I do find it weird, but I guess if it's just him being socially clueless or open or what not, that's fine. I think the general etiquette would be to not tell people you know all these things about them if you do in fact look them up. It's just my preference at least. It can come across weird if someone does mention this stuff.
Also, I sort of told the dude to not do that anymore. I said it was weird to always loook me and others up online and that it could be taken as a bit too nosy. He seemed to not get the point, though, and said that he was just curious. So in a way, he's still justifying things and not understandint the whole point or ...at least my issues with it. I hope he's just again clueless and not one of those who breaks boundaries because he thinks he has a right (even after being told about it). This is a bit of a conundrum. Since you have posted the information on the internet, he (and/or anyone else) does have the right to read it. I don't think it's nosey, per se . . . just someone being curious or interested about someone they know.
I'm a bit perplexed as to why it would bother you that someone mentions something you've written on MySpace or anywhere else. Isn't the whole purpose of writing something on the internet to be that someone would read it? I can understand if you were uncomfortable with information about you that you didn't specifically write and put online (i.e., sometimes I can find my name connected to various clients and businesses). But, if you're writing stuff about yourself and posting it online, it seems a bit contradictory to then get upset about someone reading the information. And if you're living your life so that anything about you anywhere online (whether posted by you or another source) would not be embarrassing to you for other people to know or to discuss with you, then again, I don't really see it as being that big of a deal. If the opposite is true or if you simply don't want a certain aspect of your life to be connected with you, then use a handle and protect your identity (which includes not giving your handle to anyone that you don't trust to keep it private).
The exception being one's personal contact information being made available from outside sources; i.e., church, business, etc.; but even then you can usually request that information be kept private.
As to his talking to you about it, I don't see anything particularly sinister about this, neither. Maybe he simply finds these tidbits interesting, and he's just trying to engage you in conversation about your life.
It's been mentioned before . . . if you don't want information about you to be made available to absolutely anyone, then don't put it on the 'net. You cannot pick and choose who can and who cannot have access to your information. Once it's out there, it's out there . . . for anyone and everyone to read it.
If someone mentions something that you'd rather not discuss at that particular time or with that particular person, just smile and change the subject, or gently turn the tables and ask them something interesting about themselves. If that doesn't work, you can tactfully tell them that you'd rather not discuss that. If that doesn't work, you can always find a reason to physically remove yourself from that person's presence (even if for no other reason than simply excusing yourself to the restroom). This also works for people that you simply don't feel comfortable being around; regardless of whether or not they've looked your information up online.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/17/2008 5:48:56 AM
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ebony101
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quote:
Solomonsprayer:
Ok, so is this weird or not....Normal?
His behaviour is definitely not normal. It's too extreme. I am sure that all of us have at one time or another checked another person's profile but we don't do it compulsively like your friend. Nor do we use the information seen there in our conversations with others. His behaviour is outside the bounds of normalcy.
I do not have a facebook account for the reason that I think the information on it will be available for any and everyone with access to a computer. Even with the privacy option on.
We should always remember that the world isn't full of 'nice' people and there is someone out there seeking to see whose private information can be used for their personal gain. After all none of us want to fall victims to identify thieves.
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By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/17/2008 8:23:09 AM
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Consecrated2God
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ebony, if you don't have a Facebook account, how can you say the behavior isn't normal? What's normal has changed a lot in the past couple of years. Information I put on my Facebook comes up in conversation all the time with my friends. And you are wrong that the information on Facebook is open for anyone. Only people you add as friends can see it. I have over 200 friends on Facebook, and I know every single one of them. On Thanksgiving we went to see family, and one of my sisters-in-law immediately started a conversation about one of the pictures I have up of myself, and how hilarious it is.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/18/2008 9:15:55 PM
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lynnmoon
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I do think it's a little strangeand maybe compulsive to look up everyone you know all over the Internet and put together a composite about them based on all the little tidbits you find.....moreso than talking to them. Or for that to be the norm of your general interaction. I don't think it's wrong, I just think it makes you wonder about someone's internal preoccupations.
And while I agree with the advice to not post personal stuff online there are 2 issues with that. A. I don't think that's what you are really fussing about...the technical data itself and B. as an I.T. professional I KNOW that there is a lot of stuff about everyone that is online that they have no control over. Is it private data? No, not really. But if somebody pieces together a lot of it for no real reason, that IS CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll use myself as an example, I try to keep my online stuff pretty clean and I'm the same me online as I am offline. However, I am conscious of those crazy connector people so I try hard not to ever let my own physical address get online period if I can help it. I've been posting on Crosswalk for years, have a facebook account, but don't use it. Have been to a couple of colleges, won some random small potatoes awards in life, and joined various organizations and work for my church in several capacities. Something from all of those areas will show some things online...either because I post it or because the organization posts something that includes my name.
Now, if I'm applying for a job I fully expect that the company would search me out online and I fully expect them to be okay with all that they find. I would totally expect one of the parents at church to check me out online as I work with thier children weekly and they might find some interesting things and if they told me any of that I'd think nothing of it.
BUT....if a random person or mild aquantance came up to me and started talking about a programming content I won umpteen years ago (which was only mentioned in a small organization newsletter to my knowlege before today), I'd think it quirky that he/she is as interested in COBOL programming as I am but that would be okay.
Then if that same random person started talking to me about the ministry at my church that I'm involved in, I might think that they are looking for a church home or something and maybe searched out my church after hearing me talk about or mention it. Again, public data, no problem.
Further, if that person started talking about my employer and asking how I like working there or with whomever, that would be a little odd to me.
Note: Everything mentioned so far is online, none is private and none I personally published. Well, technically I publish my work's site, but the policy isn't mine to change. Everyone's name is listed, that's just how it works.
Then say this same person mentions the fact that I've got relatives in a particular state because they saw some writing on my Facebook wall that was of interest.
Finally, if this same person started talking to me about my exhusband and the problems I had with him several years ago that only got discussed here at Crosswalk...I would think DUDE....WHY AM I THAT INTERESTING TO YOU THAT YOU ARE FINDING ALL YOU CAN ONLINE ABOUT ME? And yes, it would make me a bit nervous that I occupy that much time in that person's brain or that they have so little else to spend thier time on.
Why? Nothing increminating to be found, nothing wrong in any of it, and nothing that I'm trying to hide at all. It's just the oddness of someone with no apparent connection or need trying to know all about me rather than just trying to get to know me through me.
So, all that long rambling post to say....yes, that's a very creepy habit but is certainly not illegal in any way. But I'd certainly want to know if someone were that preoccupied with me rather than not know it.
I suppose it would feel kind of like it would feel to walk into someone's apartment or cubicle and find a bunch of pictures of yourself at various places in the world. They were all public places and you weren't wrong to be hanging out at Wal-Mart, but you would certainly wonder why this person is keeping up with you that close.  Okay, maybe not that strange because it takes less effort to compile internet data but it's that aspect of it that is creepy.
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Lynn
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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RE: Do You Look Up People's Background/Profiles YOu Know? - 12/18/2008 9:31:16 PM
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lynnmoon
Posts: 282
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Oh and P.S. I do look people up online for various reasons. I've got no problem with the data aspect of it all. Well, at least not until someone hunts me down and kills me because they didn't like a comment I made somewhere about politics or child abusers.
But anyways, I digress...I'm clearly a paranoid person in case you can't already tell!! And I have a child. Anybody that I MIGHT leave my child in the company of I tend to check on the sex offender registry. And I tend to check it for my area regularly. If I had a romantic interest in someone, I'd most likely google them.
But I don't go looking up all my random aquantances and friends all over the Internet just because. If someone tells me to check them out on Facebook or at thier blog; I reluctantly go (sometimes) but even that they usually fuss at me about because I've got enough going on in my own life that I don't have TIME TO BE READING a bunch of stuff online 'bout folks.
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Lynn
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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