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Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 9:46:30 PM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2378
Joined: 5/16/2005
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I have two friends. They are roommates. One of them, I'm in love with. The other is just an old friend.
The first friend . . . we talk a lot. Often in person or on phone, but we also have conversations on instant messenger.
I came to find out . . . all those conversations I've had on IM with her . . . the other one read. She sits and reads them as we are talking.
Those conversations were not meant to be shared. They had no right to do that.
I have always had trust issues, but this first girl . . . I trusted her. That's why I confided in her. There are things that I have told her that no one else knows . . . or at least thought they didn't.
I don't know what to do right now, or what to do with either of them. . . I'm just feeling hurt.
Any advice? Anything?
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love.ben
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 9:50:38 PM
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Sirtimaay
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I've had friends who have not been trusting; to be quite honest. a trusting friend is a gift. You need to let your friend know that it bothers you, that you come to her in confidentiality. One thing about girls is that they tend to share with other girls without thinking about it.
this is where discernment from the holy spirit comes in; don't share unless you feel like you can...
i'm sorry, this probably doesn't help; i just saw your message and thought i would say a little
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 9:57:18 PM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2378
Joined: 5/16/2005
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Thank you.
I've always felt safe sharing with her. I know that girls talk, but I didn't expect that all my life's details were available for public display. . .
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love.ben
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 10:39:40 PM
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RyansWife
Posts: 23
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I am sorry this happened to you. I grew up in a dysfunctional home where privacy was constantly breached so I know what it feels like to share something intimate and have it on full display. You should have a heart to heart with your friend and tell her how you feel. Explain to her that you cant feel comfortable being transparent with her if she is telling or showing others what you say.
_____________________________
Life Refinement
To create a little flower is the labour of ages - William Blake
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 10:45:46 PM
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lionofzion56
Posts: 46
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i agree w/ ryan's wife.
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 10:49:11 PM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2378
Joined: 5/16/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RyansWife
I am sorry this happened to you. I grew up in a dysfunctional home where privacy was constantly breached so I know what it feels like to share something intimate and have it on full display. You should have a heart to heart with your friend and tell her how you feel. Explain to her that you cant feel comfortable being transparent with her if she is telling or showing others what you say.
Thank you. That was what I was thinking. I was hoping there was a more pleasant option, but I'm thinking I just have to do what I have to do. I don't want to just brush this under the rug.
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love.ben
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/11/2008 10:58:57 PM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2378
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: online
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Thank you focusing. We are, how would you say. . . semi-romantic?
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love.ben
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/12/2008 8:27:59 AM
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Sadey
Posts: 541
Joined: 7/25/2007
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It might be a good idea to only share your deepest thoughts in person. Going online is not very private. We tend to think we are in our own little world online but we are in the whole world when we are online. Its is not a private place.
But aside from that you have every right to be upset with her and with your other friend too. You are not a sideshow for their enjoyment.
I hope she will listen to you and realize how serious this is.
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/12/2008 6:30:08 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 1love1God1way
I have two friends. They are roommates. One of them, I'm in love with. The other is just an old friend.
The first friend . . . we talk a lot. Often in person or on phone, but we also have conversations on instant messenger.
I came to find out . . . all those conversations I've had on IM with her . . . the other one read. She sits and reads them as we are talking.
Those conversations were not meant to be shared. They had no right to do that.
I have always had trust issues, but this first girl . . . I trusted her. That's why I confided in her. There are things that I have told her that no one else knows . . . or at least thought they didn't.
I don't know what to do right now, or what to do with either of them. . . I'm just feeling hurt.
Any advice? Anything?
Hi,
I know it must hurt, and I have to agree with others here, being a woman, we do talk, lol. Sometimes not even realizing that what we might share with another friend, is hurting the other. How did you find out that she was sharing this with her friend? Maybe you just need to bring it up to her, and let her know that you thought the things you and her were sharing, were in private, that you never realized the other was sitting there all along. She may have done this, not even realizing that she has hurt you, so try seeing it from her point of view before you assume that she has set out to hurt you. Does that make sense?
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/12/2008 7:02:45 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5991
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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Could I just ask you how you found out?
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/13/2008 2:18:46 AM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2378
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Could I just ask you how you found out?
I was talking to the person who overlooked the conversation. I made on comment, which she misunderstood, and said something that struck me as odd, like . . there was more depth to it. So I pretty much asked her if she read my conversations, and she said "Yes. I do." and before I even responded, she immediately devled into guilt (as if knowing she has crossed the line) and goes "i'm so sorry. If you don't ever want to talk to me again, i understand."
Anyway, I talked to both of them. They tried to justify it at first, but I told them I was NOT okay with it, it hurt me, and I didn't want it happening anymore. There are simply things that I don't want to be public broadcast in my life. They both reacted a little . . different than I expected. Like, I was being overdramatic, and that I was like, wasting their time for bringing it up. It almost seemed moot to both of them. I don't know. They are weird sometimes.
_____________________________
love.ben
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/13/2008 8:39:18 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 787
Joined: 11/28/2005
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I'm sorry your "friend" betrayed your trust by
sharing your conversations with her roommate.
I, for one will say - not all women do that and I'm
bothered that anyone would betray someone's trust like that.
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RE: Breach of Privacy? - 10/14/2008 10:05:46 AM
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raivyne
Posts: 862
Joined: 8/28/2008
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Try talking to the girl you had the conversation with alone about it. I don't have anything profound to say really. just remember to guard your heart. You two are not married and it doesn't sound like you are in a relationship with her (at this time) that is seriously considering marriage as an option. Perhaps its best to hold back on some of the more intimate details for a while longer? I'm sorry you've been hurt in this way.
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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