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Addiction and the marriage - 10/9/2008 10:34:10 PM
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thp
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Joined: 10/9/2008
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I was wondering if anyone can thier views on being married for 19 years and for the last 11 years putting up with medication addiction along with drinking? How long do you stick with your marriage vows and put up with the bad behavior?
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RE: Addiction and the marriage - 10/10/2008 1:38:27 AM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
ORIGINAL: thp
I was wondering if anyone can thier views on being married for 19 years and for the last 11 years putting up with medication addiction along with drinking? How long do you stick with your marriage vows and put up with the bad behavior?
I bet you meant 'anyone can share their views', and would you like to hear from folks that have not been married 19 years as well? Well, I hope so, because I'm now in, I guess. I'm not married. I've never been close to thinking life was great yet I wanted more.
Medication, as from your doctor, is supposed to be non-addictive, or if it is, I believe the patient is to say 'I feel better now, and can I have some more of that' to the doctor, conveying a problem is sensed. Alcoholism is a whole different subject. You've got addiction to a medication not needed, and alcoholism, or just in moderation?
Regardless of whatever is happening with that, your spouse has changed from who he was, and you'd like to see him come back to who he was before. Probably the two of you have already talked (you talkiing and he ignoring you) when pills and drinks are brought up.
How long you stick with the bad behavior? The abusive behavior? Is the medicine OTC or illegal to have? Does he impair his driving ability and there's a risk he'd hit a tree head-on? Has he been in a rehab clinic, and just gone back to the same old habits?
If you are being threatened or abused by someone out of his right faculties, and yet you know that when he does have them, he certainly does still love you, then you should take some action for your own protection and for his. But if you are not threatened, then it's just a question of whether you married to be married the rest of your life to the same man, or if you've changed your mind on that, and that there's only so much a woman can take before she says enough. If you've fought for a return to things for as long as you've put up with him, and you aren't about to divorce him on the spot, then it sounds to me like you need someone to say fight harder, and I'll say that. Pray more, don't lose him to being under the influence.
Are there kids in the family, or just the two of you? Is the marriage worth saving if there was a way? Would you be okay being a divorcee the rest of your life? There's lots of big questions. Sorry I throw FIGHT to keep it so much. I have no idea how much fighting has already taken place.
Praying the Lord speak plainly with you about how to proceed,
OneJohn410
_____________________________
Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:9-10
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RE: Addiction and the marriage - 10/10/2008 1:43:46 AM
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karlie
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Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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Attention: Moderator's Note:
Just a note that this thread may not discuss divorce and whether or not that is right or wrong. That discussion may only take place at the One Stop thread linked below. Thanks!
Divorce-One Stop Thread
Please do not reply to this message within the Community, or send me PMs regarding this.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Sincerely,
Karlie
Forums Moderator
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All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided...great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
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RE: Addiction and the marriage - 10/10/2008 7:36:39 AM
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John_O
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I agree with OneJohn.
If he is not abusive to you and is faithful to you then you have to keep fighting. Have you sought counseling for yourself and for him? Does he know (admit) he's addicted? Have you been clear in telling him that you think he's addicted and how much that is hurting you?
I've always been a stick with it till the end sort. Pray and God will give you the strength you need. Talk to your family, talk to your pastor, talk to a support group of some sort (Al Anon etc)
You may be the only human that can help your husband get free this.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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